A
female
age
41-50,
*otty83
writes:I am very unhappy at the moment, I am6months pregnant by a man who doesnt love me at all, i love him 2 bits but there are things about him that are beginning to get too much for me 2 take. We met in Jan 08', and i found out I was pregnant in March, he wanted me to have an abortion, he went on and on about it.I came off the dating site that we met on,but he stayed on.he came off a couple of months ago,but has gone back on behind my back twice since.idont know what to do?? He hasnt told his friends or family about me,or the baby.Which really hurts! I want to be strong and say that he doesnt deserve me,as i do feel he has cheated but he wont admit n then says im paranoid,he hides his phones and i cant look at them,he accuses me yet i have never cheated or even flirted with any1 at his back. Please HELP!! I FEEL IM LOOSING THE PLOT OVER ALL THIS
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): To be fair, he sounds like an idiot. He doesnt sound like he loves you at all. This doesnt exactly sound like a healthy enviroment to be bringing up a child in, and it doesnt sound like a relationship that would last for much longer. I think you should just say enoughs enough, and end it. If you look at the evidence it looks like hes cheating on you. And even if he does say your paranoid, list the facts.I think your better off without him, goood luck (:
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Sorry, but you need to leave him. It's all for the best. You and the baby deserve much more than this man can ever offer you. Once he's out of your life you will be happy again. Take care of you.
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A
female
reader, dangerouslove.  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 You need to move on. You clearly deserve better then what is laid out in front of you. Yes, you did decide to keep the baby and whether he was ready for father hood or not, it is just as much as his responsiblity as it is yours to take care of the baby! He laid in bed with you knowing full well what the possiblities were. It takes two! I know it's hard letting go of the ones we love, but your baby comes first now. So the only thing you can do, is think of the baby! Tell him how you feel, and tell him what you would like him to change, and tell him if he doesn't do so, you have no choice but to say goodbye. If he lets you go easy .. he really wasn't worth it at all. All you'll can do then is move on and have the baby, later on you can get back out there and try to date again, there are alot of nice man out there that would be happy to be a step father to your child, and would treat you as well as you deserve!Good luck.
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (23 June 2008):
You have to leave him. Stay with friends or family until you can get on your feet after the baby is born so there isn't a chance of you going into labor alone. Also this guy sounds like he will sign his legal rights away so you can have him do that and have him out of your life forever. He isn't worth the heart break!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Oh hunny. This situation is not healthy for you or the baby.
You're worth so much more than to be spoken down to and treated as though you're not worth the s**t on the bottom of his shoe.
You should take some time to yourself to see if this is what you really want.
Can you go away for a while to think about how you woul like to be treated? Try and connect with your baby? Decided what it is that you really want from a relationship?
I think you'll find that he does not and will never fill your needs.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Awe I'm so sorry.
He sounds like (exuse my language) a complete a-hole.
However, he will have to pay child benefit if you split, so you will have support for your baby.
You can't feel uncomfortable with your baby as it isn't it's fault if it's father is a horrible bloke.
That talking too much/ hugging too much/ seeing him too much is an awful thing to say. How could he be so disrespectful to you? He clearly doesn't deserve you and it is not right for him to continue to see other women whilst he is dating someone else...
You should not accept it. It's good that you stood up to him, but if he really did respect you he would have supported you in your decision to keep the baby even if he isn't ready for fatherhood.
I think you should move on... Sorry hun.
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A
female
reader, lotty83 +, writes (22 June 2008):
lotty83 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI tried to lay some ground rules down,and tell him how i'd like things to be.It didnt work at all,he seems to tell me how it is,and if i moan his answer is that i decided to keep the baby so i should take what comes and deal with it. In my heart I think its so obvious that he doesnt want me,it just hurts to have that rejection,plus he speaks to me like rubbish too,he tells me i want hugs too much, to talk to him 2 much and see him 2 much. Its clear my feelings mean nothing to him. Im finding it really hard to bond with the baby bcos of all this
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): I say LEAVE HIM, become you're own woman.
He sounds so harsh. If my boyfriend did that behind my back I would go mental. I would move on babs, theres no use staying with this bloke. He's clearly does not deserve you. If hes already looking for people online, he is clearly not worth the trouble.
You are still young and can still meet a fantastic guy who connsiders your feelings as this one so blatenly doesn't. I recomend you join a class or something to meet someone new, who shares in your interests. I can't believe your Bf still hasn't told his family that must hurt. If you decide to carry on your relationship with this man, you should lay down some ground rules.
Congratulations for your baby. X
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