A
female
age
30-35,
*ooty24
writes:Hi, I hope you can help me and not think of me as a horrible person for what I'm about to say because I'm trying to deal with it... :/I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months now. He's lovely, adorable, sweet and caring. The problem is that I'm not very physically attracted to him... I don't consider this as something wrong because usually I think about what's on the inside..This has only become a problem because one of his good friends I find very very attractive and I find myself thinking about him a lot. I find him physically attractive and get along with him well but I make sure that I'm in no way flirty with him as I don't want to gode him on. I think he might find me attractive too because he gives me lots of eye contact and talks and laughs with me a lot...This is becoming a problem because I can't stop thinking about him even though I know it is wrong to do so.I love my boyfriend dearly and I couldn't ask for more support and love from him but I keep zoning out when I'm with him because I'm thinking about his friend :( I don't want to though... I just want to go back to the way things were when I didn't feel this way.We're supposed to be going out for drinks with his mates this weekend which won't help matters either... :( Please, any advice would be awesome. xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): it seems like your bf is a nice and decent guy however i no how you feel when you no the sexual attraction isnt there. it doesnt matter how lovely ur bf is, you cant deny that sexual cheistry is extremely important in a relationship.
there are a few things you could do to improve ur situation:
* talk to him about ur sexual neeeds, tell him what he needs to do to turn you on.
* be spontanteous; sexy underwear, a night away in a hotel with just the two of you, sexy texts to each other during the day to get both of you excited for when ur meeting up that night.
*talk to your bf and say that you would rather spend time with him on his own and you want him to spend quality time with his friends on his own.
*talk to your bf and tell him that you dont feel comfortable around his friend.
* another option is sleep with his mate to get things out of ur system then maybe you and your bf can move on.
* if things stil arent better than maybe you and your bf aren't ment to be together. Im 20 and at our age sex is an important factor and you need a bf that makes you feel sexy and you both need to be sexually attracted to each other.
* if your bf is such a nice guy then maybe you are better off as friends?
good luck anyway hun x
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