A
female
age
41-50,
*b6471
writes:Why won't my husband perform oral sex? I've been married for 10 years my husband first told me he had never performed oral sex and wouldn't do it. Recently he told me that he did twice before. I'm upset and sometimes feel like cheating. I've never experienced oral sex and now I'm curious, but my husband is even like this with porn says he doesn't like it even if I offer to watch it with him. Is there something wrong with me. Should I leave him because of this what should I do
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 I just want to say, try searching for the Sqweele (I added a link to a site that sells this but it was removed. I am not spamming I am actually making a recommendation that I feel may help this person with their problem) I have seen this product and it has good reviews. If you want to know what oral sex feels like without cheating and cannot convince your husband to do it for you, this is the next best thing. If they won't let me add the product name, try browsing the sex toys section on lovehoney.com or sextoys.com or annsummers.com or any other adult site. I'm sure there are other toys that simulate the feeling of a tongue so if you really are curious why not give that a go, if your hubby won't budge?
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 November 2010):
 Some women don't like to give blow job, some men don't like to give oral.
You need to talk to him about how you feel.
Cheating is NEVER the answer. If you don't feel sexually fulfilled with your husband then MAYBE he isn't fulfilled with you either, think about it, talk about it.
There has to be more to this then what you are writing, because cheating because he won't "eat you out" is ridiculous.
What else is he doing/not doing to make you feel so unhappy about the marriage?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): He must not like it after his two previous experiences. I wonder why he kept it from you (maybe so you wouldn't ask him to do it).
You shouldn't consider breaking off your marriage of 10 yrs just because he won't perform oral sex. That's a bit irrational, don't you think?
Are you that unhappy with your marriage because of this? Do you two still have a sex life? Is there more to this that you're not telling us that's leading you into thinking about cheating/ divorce?
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (2 November 2010):
I personally think your husband is being selfish on this issue. Unless he is completely unable to perform oral sex due to an extreme phobia of the act, he should at least give it a go to give you the experience you've never had. My question is, have you really talked to him about this and let him know how much it means to you to have this experince with the man you love? Tell him it makes you sad that he confessed to having given someone oral in the past but that he is unwilling to do the same for you, his loyal, loving wife. Say to him that you love him, want your marriage to last and believe that in marriages you should be willing to make sacrifices to keep the spark going. Tell him it would really mean a lot to you if he could one day give you this gift, just the once, so that you can have this experience you are so curious to have. Ask him if he has any sexual fantasies or acts that he would love to try out? Offer to do an exchange of naughtiness. It's my belief that in a relationship you should be willing to make sacrifices to make your partner happy as they should be to you. Relationships require give and take. If you are always the one to give when your partner is inflexable it can make you feel hard done by and rightly so. If he is giving in other ways but just won't budge on this one you may have to give him the benefit of thr doubt - perhaps he has his reasons to loath this act. But if he is like this in other ways, perhaps you might need to consider moving on, if this is a real issue to you. Ultimatly you must either assert yourself to get what you want, give in, forgive him and move on, or leave him and find someone more generous in bed.Don't resort to cheating, you will only feel guilty afterwards. An alterntive is to try a sex toy that simulates the feeling of oral sex. That way you can try what it feels like, without persuading your husband to do something he doesn't want to and without cheating or leaving your husband. Ok it may not be the same as the real thing but it's a substitute and if you use it in bed with him it may spice things up and lead to more fun with him. It may make him see how much you really want to try it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): well to be honest i think you would be silly to consider cheating or even leaving him, your husband of 10 years. i don't know how to say this other than, it just isn't so guys cups of tea. some people think that it is 'unnatural' to have oral sex, others thinks its fine.
if you feel so strongly about it i would suggest you tell him and talk to him properly about it, face to face. see what he has to say and then it all comes down to his decision, and what ever the result i would respect it, as 10 years is a lot to throw away
good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Well, work with him on it, work on it, work on it, don't cheat. Leave before you cheat.
If you cheat, and you have oral sex with someone who knows what to do for you to get you there, you will like it. You will cheat again, and again, and again because you will like it that much, if they know what to do for you.
However, as usual it isn't that simple in general) it takes time for you to get to know someone usually, and relax with a new partner, and for them to know what to do for you specifically, so don't expect the first time to "rock your world" in any case, even with an experienced partner (because they are only half the equation).
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