A
female
age
41-50,
*estiny28
writes:Hey everyone....I have a partner for quite some time.... I need your input about his friends.... even before we got together and had my housewarming his mates ignored me... even though we were housemates... went out for dinner they shut me out... went for recreational activities... they shut me out.... it's stating the obvious however... now that my partner has told them we are serious they are giving him shit, comment and shut him out so he feels uncomfortable... So please give your advice on why this could be??? Ps: I have never offended anyone and always been welcoming!!! Cheers Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): I can only imagine how tough this has been for you. My heart goes out to you, hun. Some people can open their hearts to anyone coming into their social group, and some just simply refuse to do this. Your bf's friends seem to be judgemental, and very disrespectful to you. In some social groups, there are folks who like the power position which makes them feel entitled to 'tear' others down. It's no one's job, to keep peace with them. They alone are responsible for their own reactions and responses to you. So with that said, I think it's time for your bf, to find some new friends. Because if these current friends are now rejecting your bf, then the best you both can do is be detached but polite when you around these people-but I suggest you and he avoid them at all costs, if you can. Because the longer you are exposed to these toxic people, the more you will feel undervalued.
Carry on and realize..sometimes there is no life without hurt. We have all been there in one way or another. I am just feeling badly that you had to endure this. But understand we all take that hurt, we experience, we survive it and we grow, instead of allowing it to take us down. Take what has happened and make sure this does not embitter you. Because the measure of you as a valuable, loveable, good woman is the very fact, you would never, ever cause pain like this to others. That alone, is what makes you special. Take care.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 January 2010):
They just sound like really lousy, jealous friends. Just focus on your boyfriend and your relationship instead. that's all that matters.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (27 January 2010):
 I would have to say that they see you as stealing him away from them. You threaten their life style especially if they are all single exceot him. He'll take care of this one for if they are really his friends they will be happy as long as he's happy.
Watch out though cause any relationship problems that get back to them will get them going on trying to get rid of you.
I'm sure you are really sweet and it has nothing to do with you. They are just worried about losing a friend so try to make sure he still hangs out with them without you every once and a while. They'll come around eventually.
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