A
female
age
36-40,
*mile05
writes:I was with my ex boyfriend for 3 years and he broke up with me because he said he needed space and time to him self.. I was sooo sad and depress I was really sad.. He said he wanted to live life and enjoy being 21 and we lived togetheir so it hurt me alot waking up every morning and he wasn't their.. Everything happened out of nowere he was sooo nice to me I dnt know what happened he said that I wouldn't give him space or let him go out but I told him alot of times let's work things out and I promise I will change and give u space and he told me no I want to get back with u but not right now I need time to live life.. :( he tells me he misses me and still loves me because I was his first love but he wants to live life... And he tells me he dosnt talks to girls but I know for sure he talks to girls :(.... So he would only call me when he felt like it if or answer me when he would feel like it.. So I finally decided to put my foot down and I decided to completly ignore his calls and texts at least for a month to see what he does.. So this last past 2 weekends he calls me in the middle of the night and I don't answer him and he starts blowing me up.. I ignore him and he leaves me messages telling me off and telling me I'm gna regret it not him.. I dont know what he meant by that.. And then I answered him once and I told him y r u calling me is not like u miss me and said "what do u think If I'm calling shouldn't it b obviouse if I miss u or not? " and he was cosing me out telling me I bet ur gna start being with some ugly guy and get pregnant from him and then get married :( when he said that it got me really sad because I feel if he said that he dosnt care abt me anymore??? What do u think ? Do u think he still loves me? Do u think his starting to miss me? Why do u think he calls me when he is drunk? I just dnt know what to think? Please help.. After I hung up in him he kept calling me ando just ignored his calls.. Please what do u think he is feeling... We broke up 3 months ago.. His 21 and im 22 we lived togetheir for 2 years and were togetheir for 3... I bearly decided to start ignoring him because it hurts me alot that he wants to do what he wants and he thinks he has me.. HELP good advice please..
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (15 June 2010):
 That's the whole trouble right there: he wants what he wants and clearly has neither respect nor consideration for what you might think or want.
He wants to get on with living life without you? So for the love of pete, LET HIM! (Not that I'm saying you're preventing him from doing so) but I mean, calling you in the middle of the night, drunk or not, and issuing threats and insults is something "up with which you should not put" (in the words of a friend of mine).
If he really cared for you he wouldn't be acting like this.
BunnyTee's suggestion about leaving the phone off the hook -or even disconnecting it from the wall outlet overnight - is a good idea so he has no chance to bug you and get argumentative.....
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (15 June 2010):
 There's a weird compulsion guys get if they've been imbibing too much,: they suddenly become convinced that old g/f's, present g/f's and relatives *really* want to hear from them at 2:30am.
I've had a total of 5 brother-in-laws call my house, seven sheets to the wind, in the middle of the night, wanting to converse. I find that just putting down the phone, leaving it off the hook, and going back to sleep, usually rids me of them. I have no idea what compels this behavior. Nor cures it.
I think your guy just doesn't want you to move on to someone else. He doesn't seem to know what he does want, either. Try recommending that he grows up and matures before he bothers you again.
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