A
male
age
36-40,
*ife4logic
writes:Hi All, First thank you for your time, I greally appreciate it. I am 22 male. I have been facing one issue for which I am seeking assitance herewith. It was okay all till the age 20 and then suddenly I am having different thoughts, likes and confusion about my sexuality and related likings. Till the age, like all boys, I liked girls, viewing girls, attracted towords girl etc. From last two years, there are changes I have noticed in myself which are as below:- I am greatly losing attraction towards girls in sexually-I am getting attracting towards men in sexuality-I am losing attraction to girl but I started liking "being a girl"-I've started liking girl clothing and everything related to girls-I have started hating hairs on my body-I feel sexy when I see hot men and hot women-I started having thoughts to be with a man who can treat me as girlI have analysed myself and found that:-If am seeing a hot girl, immediately I like to be like her-When I see any hot scene, I prefer to be at girl's place-I've been recently too much attracted to wear girl clothes-If I see a hot pic of a girl and hot pic of a boy then I prefer a pic of boy!To add, I have been with a girl one time when I was 20 and it was good experience to me and I had been with a man one time when I was 21 and it was the same good experience to me. But I don't know why I am having all about thoughts. Normally in life when I am working or studying...I do not have these thoughts but when I am sexually aroused....I am 100% feeling to wanted to be a girl and like to be treated by men!. Please suggest. Thanks in Advance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, life4logic +, writes (27 April 2011):
life4logic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear heartfullove love and Dorothy,
I appreciate for your time and advice to me. Your both have conclusions that I have a fantasy of being a girl nothing else.
Yes I am thinking in the same line so I am good to see those words from you.
It's just the way we have been grown by the society so I needed help from you guys.
Yes I never ever thought of having operation to change a sex. Being a girl it's like a enjoyable exp to me.
So I will enjoy this fantasy..nothing else. It's nothing wrong to enjoy such fantasies. Correct?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): I honestly don't see ANY of the issues you've raised as a problem, unless they're causing you distress or difficulty.
To take all the issues one by one:
1-3) You can't help it. Enjoy!
4) Of course you do. The clothes are so much nicer; they look and feel amazing. Why would you wear a shirt and trousers, when a bustier and skirt feels so much silkier and sexier? (Not to mention more comfortable and probably much more 'you')
5) Of course you do, if you want to feminise your appearance and perfect it. Use exfoliating body cream and hair remover (the waxing option sounds a little painful)
6) Good for you. Hot men are very sexy. So are hot women, whether or not they turn you on in a sexual sense
7) That would seem the natural next step
8) Harmless and cute, if not exactly 'normal'
9) You mean when you see porn, you want to do what she's doing rather than what he's doing? Good for you - you can't help it
10-11) You can't help it
It seems you're bisexual, perhaps with a bit of a preference for men. And you identify with female beauty and want to look like gorgeous girls do - you love adopting the mannerisms and demeanour of a female. And want to adopt a (probably submissive) female role, with a man, in a sexual context.
All this is fine. I'd go further and say it's wonderful, exciting - and that you're brave to go through with it, as the 'forbidden fruit' aspect of slipping into girls' clothes can be more than a little terrifying. And you're NOT alone, far from it. But - I note you are from India - it is URGENTLY IMPORTANT that you are discreet about these things. I don't know how liberal, tolerant, gay-friendly your social environment is; I don't know whether you're exposing yourself to the real risk of (at worst) physical attack and social ostracism, or (milder but still not nice) ridicule and cruel comments. I'm in the fortunate position of living in a thoroughly modern, liberal place and I STILL need to take huge care in terms of where I go, and where it's safe to do so 'en femme'.
I think the best thing you can do is NOT agonise about these powerful feelings or 'beat yourself up' about it, because you can be sure the feelings won't go away. I hope you find people with whom you can be open and honest about pursuing your true nature; but I hope to god you're very cautious in going about it.
As for your sexuality: you can't help it. You've had one of each and liked it; you're still figuring it out. If you're bi (it sounds extremely likely) enjoy it, but realise that it doesn't give you licence to behave exactly as you please - in fact it makes it all the more important that you're HONEST with anyone you become involved with.
And, in terms of picking up men: CAREFUL CAREFUL CAREFUL. There is a risk of this going really horribly wrong if the guy doesn't know you're not really a woman. Keep your wits about you; nice guys only; be honest with them; and never get undressed behind closed doors with a man unless you're 200% certain he knows your secret or has guessed or won't object.
Wishing you luck. You go, girl!!
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 April 2011):
Hi there. I think that you are having a bit of an identity crisis.
Sometimes you like girls and sometimes boys.
Yet other times, you would like to be a girl.
I say this especially because you do not live your whole life believing you are girl in a man's body. That doesn't seem to be the case. That usually seems to happen from childhood and it's not that way with you.
The other possibility is that you may be bi-sexual - you are sometimes attracted to men and other times to women.
The wanting to be a girl, is likely to be more of a fantasy than anything else. An imagining, of a kind.
If you really wanted to be a girl and live your life as a girl and have the sex-change operation, you would have been thinking along those lines years ago.
I honestly think that you sometimes wanting to be a girl or be treated as a girl, is more than likely purely fantasy and nothing more. Also, the same with liking girls' clothes. Fantasy mainly.
I don't think you really have anything to worry about. You are still learning about yourself, that's all.
You need to accept yourself for who you are - body hair and all! You need to start to liking yourself more.
At 20 years of age, you hardly know yourself completely, as you have not lived enough of life yet to know for sure.
It's possible that by your 30's or 40's you might have more of an idea of what you genuinely like and dislike. Until then, it's really all experimentation. That's part of the fun of living. You learn as you live each day of your life.
If you want to think about something else - other than your sexuality - why not have a change of pace and start some hobbies and just have fun. Forget about sexuality for a while, and who you are attracted to. Just don't try to figure it all out. Some things can't be figured out.
Just don't try to force things - let it all flow naturally. What will be, will be. You can't control everything in your life. In time, all will be revealed.
Take care and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 It sounds to me like you are really confused about what sex you are. It could be possible that you are wanting to become a female and that is why you are having these feelings. It may be that you are trans gender. Meaning that you where born in to the wrong body and you have the feelings of being a woman. I think you should talk to a councellor about your feeling they will be able to talk to you more intimately on the subject.
As for being attracted to guys or even girls this shouldnt be an issue. Dont put a label on yourself just go with the flow. Who ever you are attracted to no matter what sex it is dont worry. Dont label yourself. It shouldnt matter. Everyone is turned on by different things.
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