A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi dear cupidWell, I had been pursuing a girl for about a month now and I must say everything seemed fine and normal. she studies in same university as I am so whenever I saw her around, we use to talk a bit. The other day (last Thursday) she invited me for tea with her and we talked about few good minutes before I walked her to her class. (her reaction was oh you are walking me to class, her tone showed she was pleased) I make her laugh and she seems to really like me. I wasn't sure about if she likes me back so I was testing the water before I ask her out. She hasn't been coming to university since Friday due to marriage ceremony coming up in her family.(I asked her best friend whom I am also very good terms with) We got on really well and suddenly she blocked me at whatsapp about yesterday afternoon. (I talked to her last time on Saturday for a bit on whatsapp like two three minutes and ignonored her yesterday so I don't look needy) On Sunday, I asked her best mate for some book I should refer and not her, and I realized I have been blocked in an hour after that. I only didn't contact her as much so I don't look needy. I gave her many sure signals I like her and told her that I will tell you how I feel about you when I am sure. I texted her twice on Sunday how is she and get back to me when she can but she didn't reply till yet. I am not sure what suddenly changed that she blocked me! Can you think of anything I did wrong? what should I do? should I wait till she shows up at university or ask her friend about it? I cannot call her as she is busy with her family and cousins in marriage. Now I am pretending as I don't know her she blocked me and today when I met her friend, she said she is probably busy (I know this isn't the real case as she always replied me no matter how busy she is ) Or should I simply cut off the chase? Or text her again today?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2013): OP for the record, the sooner you make your move after a girl sees your interested the better. Her friends probably told her that from the first day, it's not rocket science OP, girl's friends will have her told. Now imagine you're her knowing you like her and here you are a month later not having done anything about it? Not good.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2013): Meh, you over-thought this all way too much OP and now I'm afraid you come off as a bit clingy but without having done anything at all.
OP you're a guy, what hell were you doing "giving signals" for a whole month and doing nothing? Are you expecting her to make the move or something? Signals are what girls do OP and they do it so we'll make the move.
You've had a month to ask her out and you've just pussy footed around, trying to show her you like her all the while desperately talking to her friends to find out what her story is. All that stuff has been getting back to her OP, how does it look now you've been asking her friend what her deal is when you know she's busy all weekend?
You also texted her twice on Sunday, she got your first one OP it looks a bit needy if you text again so soon.
Ease back completely now. Do not ask her friends about her anymore, I'm sorry OP but it makes you look like a bit of a balls-less loser because you're making it clear to everyone you like her but haven't done anything about it, instead you play games. That's gutless behaviour OP, you don't sniff around a girl a whole month and you don't wait to see if she likes you before you make a move. Want to know if a girl likes you? Make your move, ask her out, if she says no then she's not interested, what's so hard about that?
Now I possibly know what she's thinking, I'm only guessing on what I see. The ball is in her court now, you texted her she didn't reply. You'll know what the deal is next time you see her in college, if she's acting colder than usual then you've blown it, if not then you ask her the hell out and stop playing games.
OP for the future you don't need to know a girl likes you before making your move, making your move early is the best way of finding that out. And OP it may work like that in the movies but in real life women don't want a guy who will timidly spend a month too scared to ask her until he's sure she likes him. Women want a guy who wants them enough to go for it, a guy who has determination and frankly they want a guy who will risk rejection just to see if he can get them.
You don't sweep a girl off her feet by being hesitant, asking her friends about her, worrying about how much you're contacting her, reading into every little thing. What you're doing is not pursuit OP, because pursuit is about getting shit done, you're pissing about hoping and waiting for shit to happen on its own when you need to throw caution to the wind and just make her yours.
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