A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can I tell my friend I want to stop sleeping with him without him reacting badly? We have a FWB relationship I guess but we are unbelievably close. I'm worried if I say I want the sex to stop then the hugging, kissing, spending time together etc will too. Truth is I don't really want the sex to stop either, it's great, but I don't want to be sleeping with a guy who doesn't feel he can commit to me or I'm not good enough to be his girlfriend either.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010): Just tell him you dont want to sleep with him anymore, that you are ready to pursue real relationship with men who wants to be your boyfriend, and you don't want to have a FWB when you do meet that potential boyfriend.
If you two are so close as you say, this shouldn't be a problem. And if it turns out weird afterwards, you know never to get a FWB again because there's only a few of us that can handle such a relationship.
A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (14 February 2010):
Ugh. FWB. Why do any of you ladies even start up with this FWB business. It always ends the same. You like the guy you want him to be your BF.
Just be honest. Men respect honest women. Just tell him the truth about what you want. Be calm, cool, confident. Tell him look, this has been great but it's made me realize that FWB is just not for me. I either need to be friends only or I need to be a couple.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (14 February 2010):
 I remember when a guy (we've done it like 6 times) asked if he could come over at 11pm, I said NO. Then I explained to him I wanted a boyfriend (even though I didn't care for one at that time). He asked if he could come at a later time I said NO, can't you just stop calling? We went back and forth for reasons a few times, and still, a big NO. He hung up on me. There is no graceful way to do this, but afterwards I felt a big load off my shoulder.
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A
female
reader, Trust Charleyy  +, writes (14 February 2010):
 Ahh, Friends With Benefits.
Well if you and your friend are as close as you say then you should be able to sit down with him and have a proper conversation about this.
Talk to him and tell him that you really enjoy hugging, kissing and cuddling and that the sex is great too; but let him know that all these things aren't enough if it isn't a committed relationship.
Reassure him that he pleases you in every aspect and dont want everything to stop, but that you would like him to consider committing to a proper relationship.
If he aggrees to commit, dont try to make him become too serious too quick as things will go wrong.
If he doesn't want to commit, tell him that you have enjoyed the time you have spent together but you cannot continue being FWB's as you feel you may miss out on your chance at true love.
I hope my advice helps and i wish you all the best.
Charley :)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (14 February 2010):
Well you can't have all the boyfriend stuff but none of the sex, if he just wants the sex and none of the boyfriend stuff. You'd be using him as much as he's using you.
You need to tell him, boyfriend or nothing.
If he can't be your boyfriend then walk away from him and get over him.
You'll be far better off with someone who can love you so cut contact, be strong and you'll be far happier.
Good Luck!! xx
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