A
male
age
30-35,
*hadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera
writes:I asked this question once before, but now, I'm asking again, with more details, so it's more understandable.How can I take a busy girl's friendship further into a potential relationship?~~~~~~In detail: She's the average, silent, "I am keeping to my work, and putting it first above all else" kind of girl. She's a genius, a scholar, with 4.0 Gpa! Out of my league, but still likes me, despite I'm not perfect! I know that she likes me, and her aunt has told me that "She really adores me." Her aunt has also told me that her father was struggling with some form of unavoidable cancer, died one day after her birthday. She was 6 years old at the timing when her father died. He promised he wouldn't die on her birthday, and he died one hour after her birthday. Because of it, I was told she might feel so damaged, she may never want to date anyone again.She even saved my life (which now, I go into further detail), I lost all my friends in the 8th grade. They moved all away from me, and my last friend betrayed me. I was all alone. Every day I waited for them to come, back. From sunny, burning day... to rainy, damp clouds are grieving for you... to snowy, blistering cold days outside in the same spot, waiting for someone, any friend, to come to me, and say hi. Even God, the last person I could call a friend, forgot about me. I waited for a full year, and then into the 9th grade, I met her.She's beautiful, and very sweet, but again, I could only imagine that quite a few guys have tried, and all were annihilated by her with one word, "No."We became friends, slowly, and she gave me a reason to continue with my life. Then, a "Christmas Variety Show", where all the people in drama, had to put on a Talent act. Some sang, some acted, but I had a comedy routine, which I knew was awful. I was ready to go home for the day, and one hour later, hang myself... but she wanted to see it, so I didn't want her to miss it, even as crappy as it was. I saw her act, and she did good, but when it was time for my act, she was missing. I had 5 minutes left before I had to go on stage, and I searched all over for her (perhaps at this point, I was somewhat, lovestruck by her). I couldn't find her. I even checked the library, with no luck. She wasn't anywhere to be found, and in show biz, the show must go on. I was defeated in my heart. I was ready after my act to go straight home, and kill myself, but after my act, I saw her walking down the hallway, and she realized she missed my act, and was really sorry for me, and hugged me.... and she still doesn't even know how she did, or even knowing she saved me at all. I was about to commit suicide an hour later, and she hugged me, because she missed my variety show act. She gave me every reason to keep living, and still is the reason why I live today. FOR HER! I've always have held that in like a secret, for 4 years now, and more than anything, I've wanted to tell her.Most of the time, whenever I ask her for just a simple hangout, there have been a few times she was free, when she said sure, I would like to have fun with you, but then a hour/day later, then she said "I can't" and the reason why she couldn't. Lucky me, I am good friends with her cousin, and she really couldn't because she has certain family gatherings. Otherwise, he doesn't know much about her.However, the rest of the time, she's "swamped", and has a lot of work to do. I always get the feeling she wants to be with me, but she doesn't. This has been like this for 4 years now. Every once in a while, I stop at her workplace, and have fun with her, but nothing much ever happens. I've gotten close to hanging out with her, (Prom, as friends, a movie, etc), but she somehow is able to turn them down just in my unfortunate nick of time.I want to take this to a little higher level, and I am not taking "give up, and move on" for an answer, because she never gives up faith in me... even when I was about to give up my life. She has to have a heart if she cares about me... but, more than anything, I want to be with her, like, dating. Even if it's only a month. I just want to be with her. I want to be the one to hold her hand, and to protect her from anything that got in her way.So, how should I take this to another level? Even if it means failure doing so? How can I take a busy girl's friendship further into a potential relationship? Because no matter what, I know I'll never lose feelings for her, until I know I've tried everything.There is only one wrong answer, and that's to "give up", otherwise, give me as many answers as possible...
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female
reader, Red591 +, writes (23 September 2010):
 ok ok but it sounded like your whole world revolves around this girl and that is still unhealthy.You can't make someone like you all you can do is tell her how you feel and see what she says. You need to open yourself up to other possibilities though besides her. I think if she and you were goig to be a couple then it would have happened by now but maybe she is shy. Tell her how you feel and if she does not feel the same then look for another girl. Sometimes the person we are meant for is not who we think it will be.
A
male
reader, Shadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera +, writes (23 September 2010):
Shadow_Phathom_of_the_Opera is verified as being by the original poster of the question RE: @ Red591
I have no motivation of suicide whatsoever. You missed the whole point of the question. My Question was "How can I take a busy girl's friendship further into a potential relationship?", not "How do I get counseling?" Seriously. this took place 4 years ago, in the past, and I am not the same way as I was back then as I am now. You can't just skim through a question because you'll miss crucial details of the whole story.
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A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (21 September 2010):
you sound very unstable. You cannot live for someone. If she knew that she is why you did not kill yourself, it would be way too much pressure. You have got to see that life is worth living in and of itself. Life craps on you and it has me too but not for a second would I end it when it can be good agian later. I think you need to speak with a proffesional because this site is not equipped to handle a suicidal individual. Please talk to someone with expertise in this field. I work in a crime scene unit and I see awful results of people who do not seek help from the right places and place all their happiness in someone else.People will always dissappoint you, its just life. If you were ready to end it cause this girl missed your show then you really need some serious help. PLEASE GET IT. you are worthy of loving life and I think you base your happiness in something that is no garantee. I wish I could help you as I hate suicide and i'm sick of seeing people with their whole lives ahead of them dead over something that they probably would not care about in a year.
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