A
female
age
30-35,
*issbell
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We love each other. We've being practicing oral sex but always with my pants on. He does not want to have penetrative sex with me before we get married. Even though he sucks and squeezes my breasts, he has never touched or seen under my pants. I want to have real sex with him. Am still a virgin? What should i do
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2011): I agree with one of the writers it is either u are having sex or not. constant foreplay without sex definitely leads to depression and frustration. so, if u are christians, wait but again after two years and he does not want to marry - a suggestion would be find someone who wants to marrry and help you to fulfill your sexual pleasures. however, sex should not be your main reason for getting marry make sure you know the person's background in terms of personality and sexual history.have a serious talk with him; he needs to tell you what his intentions are for the relationship as at the moment it seems he is selfish.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): well i was in a similar situation.Let us call him John. anyway he wanted sex and i did not because i knew he did not love me and i wanted the sexual experience to be special. some christians wait until they get married. nothing wrong. but waiting for three years that is too long .if as a christian and he believes in sex after marriage he should tell you about his intentions between six to 2 years the most.
besides you can get stuck in a relationship like that until forever. Find another man who cares and appreciates you - not groping your body.
sex is special. constant foreplay without any sexual intercourse leads to frustration or depression.
it is either you are having sex or not.
if you are a christian don't feel presurred. if he is one leave him alone. if you are not a christian have protected sex with someone who shares your sexual goals.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (11 July 2010):
 Just because he is your first guy, doesnt mean he is the ONE for you. I am not suggesting you leave him, but do you want someone who only cares about his own needs? Because it sure doesnt sound like he cares about yours.
If he cant or wont help you to reach orgasm, then you have to ask yourself, can you live with such a selfish man for the rest of your life?
Talk to him. If you cant talk about this, you have no hope of a successful marriage. Marriages are built on good communication.
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A
female
reader, missbell +, writes (11 July 2010):
missbell is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is very religious I am 21 and he is 24 Even if he wont have sex with me at least he should help me reach orgasm He always does but i have never He is my first guy and i cant live him
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (11 July 2010):
I think from what you have said, you have a very selfish boyfriend.
You say you have been practicing oral sex, yet he has not seen or touched under your pants? In my mind, this means you have NOT been having oral sex. I expect you have been giving him blow jobs, but he has not returned the favour?
This all seems pretty one sided to me! Sucking and squeezing breasts is NOT oral sex.
He wants to have orgasms, yet wont let you have one until you are married? He seems like a bit of a control freak.
Is he religious? Why does he want to wait until marriage for penetrative sex? And why does he consider proper oral on you to be off limits too?
If you want to have proper, full on sex with him, then talk to him. Tell him that you want to take the relationship to the next level. If you cannot discuss this as a couple, then you have no hope of forming a committed life-long relationship. They are all about communication, and if you cannot talk to each other about this, maybe it is a sign that he is not the one for you.
You are only 18-21. This is a very young age to be considering marriage, especially to someone you have dated since you were a teenager. In 5 years time, you may want very different things. Dont pigeon hole yourself just yet to this one man. If he is like this now, about sex, what will he be like about sex later on? Could you live in a platonic relationship for the next 10 years?
Talk to him, it is the only way.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 July 2010):
You are a virgin until you have sexual intercourse, which means a man's penis must enter your vagina. So yes, you're still a virgin.
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