A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I got with my boyfriend around 9 months ago, We were absolutly amazing, he treated me like a princess and he really did seem special, he wanted to spend every waken moment with me aswell as i did with him. We have now got to the stage of 9 months and its drasticlly going downhill FAST. I love my boyfriend to bits, we planned to spend our life together. Recently hes change alot, I discussed with him i wanted a day or 2 with my mates for us to spend some time apart to miss each ther, he wernt a fan of this to begin with which caused arguments but it had to be done as we constantly bikker. He has trouble with his anger and constantly takes things out on me and his family, I could be having a decent conversation with him, and hed start an argument over anything petty and try blaming me to look asif im going loopy. A couple of months ago, he got charged for fighting when drunk, and also got caught with a drug on him, this is the part that we started going downhill, i didnt want to be with someone who takes druggs, but he was convinced that he didnt know who put it in his pocket. After this the constant arguing went on and he decided one day to pack up and leave for the weekdn without sayng good bye. After that a few weeks ago we had an argument once again, and i found that he was giving his number to girls, a girl rang him one night when i was around and told him that he told her to ring him. I was very confused by this as he swears on his famlys life that someone had hacked his account and give his number out. Im still curious of this but forgive him as i love him and belive him. This weekend we went out, and these days he seems to want alcohaol more oftern which is causing a massive problem towards us as he goes violent. He started arguing with me because a lad came and started talkig to us both, he got jeous and started smashing bottles etc, and also pushed me alot, my friend had to stop him. I seem to be getting scared of his anger and have also tryed explaing that he should see a consultant about his anger, he argues with his family also and maekes his mum cry from this, but also turns our storys around and tells his family so that they hate me and think im changeing him and once he agreed but does not anymore. I need help. I dont now what to think. I have people telling me alot of diffrent things etc. Its hard to let go. :( Help!
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female
reader, lynsey  +, writes (14 September 2009):
alright...well it sounds like this guy has a ton of issues, bo offense.it seems like when he gets angry is the only time hes able to shoe emotion.my sister has anger issues and arguing witj someone who is not able to control their anger is like trying to make a brick wall move.what you need to do when he gets angry is walk away. give him no attention. this way you can through to him without saying anything back so he isnt ale to flare the argument even worse and making you feel bad in the argument.hopefully hell realize that when you walk away he knows that there is something wrong without pointing it out so he doesnt get defensive.the drug and alcohol abuse needs to go and you have to try and not support him with them. you have already said you dont support him with it but by letting him hangout with those people are just going to bring you down as well.his mom in my opinion needs ta take charge and control she cannot let her son make her cry. sometimes tough love is the bet love in this case.my foster mom has first provided help and when my foster sister refuses she has threaten my foster sister that she will pack her stuff and send her somewhere else.and lastly your relationship really is hanging by a thread and you have to ask yourself does he make me happy or sad?you cant let him bring you down. because when you stay around him he doesnt change and you are the one who is getting hurt.give him the ultimaden...its either you get help or i step.i wish i could tell you that he will just one day get better but the truth is he isnt unless you make the first move.i wish you all of my luck.~lyns
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