A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for the past two years...in two weeks it will be two years. I love him very much and I know that he loves me but I don't know anymore if it is in his heart to commit to me. Before, we used to have sex all the time...all the time. Now, I'm lucky if I can get him aroused a couple times a month, if that. I mean I don't know what to do. I basically throw myself out there in the most obvious way for him and I barely even get so much as a partial erection. He doesn't talk about sex, he doesn't have sex. He plays video games, hangs out with his friends and does school work. I do all that too, but there is always time in my book for a little intimacy. And lately, I've been out a lot with my best guy friend. Almost every day for the past week and my boyfriend doesn't seem even slightly miffed about it. My friend even asked me if everything was okay because he was half expecting my boyfriend to come crashing through the door by now, wondering what the hell was going on. I just don't know what to do. I love him so much and I'm so afraid of being alone, hell, I'm afraid of thinking about life without him. I stand to lose so much. He has a big part of me as do I him. His family is my family pretty much and I love them all the same. I'm afraid of losing them. I'm afraid of losing any kind of familiarity in my life. I need to be happy. I want to be happy and I know that right now, I'm not happy. I want something bigger and better in my life but I want it with him. How should I go about this. Should I wait for him to dump me? Should I dump him? Should I wait it out and see if things get better?
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male
reader, wolfred bane  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 okay im gonna tell u a beheivourial fact about guys.
men are like rubber bands. they get intimate one moment and need some alone time next. go easy on him he still loves u, just need some man to man time u know(dun get me wrong he is not gay...), or he would just run out of steam.wait awhile and chat him up to see whats wrong.
good luck
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Why is turkey such a treat? Because you only get it for Christmas.
If you were fed it every single day, somebody shoved it into your face everyday, would you still want it all the time?
Yes, if you really loved turkey.
So, if he does not want you when you offer it so readily, what does that say about his feelings for you?
Sex initially doesn't mean anything. Back then it was fresh, a new conquest. Now, he has had his fill. He probably won't dump you, no sane man would unless something better comes along because even if he only wants sex a couple times a month, he still can get it easily from you. Far easier then dumping you and have to find a new one.
If you dump him, he will most likely protest, but love confessed under duress has no value. It matters how he treats you when things are normal. Not what he says when you threaten to take away easy sex.
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There might be other reasons for reduced sex drive, like stress or ill health, but I don't think that is the case here from your description.
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A
female
reader, :)31215  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Have you spoken to him about this? Because before you make any decisions about what to do speak to him about it first.
There are loads of reasons for a guy to lose his libido, the main one is stress though..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Hi!
Im sorry to hear about your situation miss. It seems that your BF may be losing interest in the relationship altogether. He has certainly withdrawn himself from you for whatever reason and its best you find out whats going on. Sit him down and ask him whats on his mind. Try not to accuse of him anything even if you have hunches. A productive convo begins and ends peacefully.
I was in no way in your exact position. I one time was in a relationshiop simply cause I was familiar and content. I learned that is no way to live as the relationship, altho it ended peacefully, was still a disaster and only left me to get bigger at the gym. Do NOT stay content especially when you are so young as life can become very dull and boring and that includes lack of intimacy. You deserve a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Good luck.
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