A
female
age
41-50,
*aura26
writes:I don't know what to do anymore?I am 26 years old i have been with my husband 8 years (married for 2) He has a had a problem with porn, internet, movies, magizines. He would be on the computer for hours at night or when I was at work, but hardly ever want sex with me. I have a high sex drive and always willing to try new things. But he'd prefer to get off on his own (if you get what I mean) I have very high morals and it makes me feel, unattractive and unwanted. We have talked about it but he continues to do it. On top of that he hides what he's doing and lies about it by saying he promises hes not doing it anymore and that I have trust issues then I find out that i was right all along and he lied again. this has been going on for about 4 years. what should i do? i love him very much, i feel i should leave as i don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. but it hurts and i know he knows that it hurts....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 I understand the unattractive feelings that porn can leave you with. My partner before he met me hadn't had a serious girlfriend for a few years, so had turned to porn to get himself off. I've never really been big in to porn, Ive never really taken the time out to sit and watch it. It started to cause issues between us as I couldn't see why he needed the porn now he had me.
In the end we compromised, I sat and watched it with him and he now only has it on when I'm with him. Ok that's slightly different to your situation....... If there is absolutely no trust left then it would probably be best to leave him. It'll only make you more unhappy the longer you stay and hear more lies.
Maybe he will see you leaving as an opportunity to realise that he has a problem and maybe get help. If he really doesn't see he has a problem then nothing can be done to help him. He has to realise himself first that there is a major problem then but can you live with him like that until it finally hits him?!
Hope that helped :)
xxxxxxxx
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 This is a relatively new marriage problem thanks to the Internet. It has produced another addiction, just as bad as alcoholism, gambling, drugs etc...for destroying marriages. The treatment is also the same, first the addict has to realize they have a problem then they have to want to change, if they don't see a problem there is nothing the loved ones can do except watch them sink into their abyss of choice. If you have talked to him about how the porn hurts you and all he does is lie to you and try to hide it better than I guess you walk.
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