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female
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anonymous
writes: my partner of two years makes me feel like he doesn't want to be with me. we live together but the only time we spend together is when we are out together and i always have to get a babysitter. he goes out as often as he can with his mates and doesn't understand that i need time out too. i tried to explain that i didn't like him going out all the time but if he stays in, he just ignores me anyway. he says he loves me and wants me but i find it so hard to get any attention and affection from him. the first year we were together was great although he did sometimes forget about me and ask his mates to go out rather than me. i thought he'd got over that but he's gone back to it. if only one of us can go out, it's always him. he never asks if i'ds like to go instead if a mutual friend invites ud=s both. he just assumes the right to go anyway Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhis friends are not the problem. his best friend has even tried talking to him about the situation. my partner has been going out a bit less but we just argue when he stays in because he just wants to give all his attention to the computer. i have not had a night out since christmas eve because the few nights he has stayed in, i have not known he's staying in until he hasn't gone. if you know what i mean. we can't always go out together as we have 2 children and babysitters are scarce. i see the point about getting bored with each other, but how can you get bored with someone you choose not to spend time with. i don't want him to stop going out completely and i don't expect to go everywhere with him. i just want him to want to spend time with me and stay home with me to spend time together instead of it the computer
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (13 December 2005):
 Couples from time to time get bored with each other,and maybe he feels he needs an outlet from time to time,trouble is,its at your expense.There is nothing wrong with spending time with your friends but if he is not showing you any consideration,or attention and expects you to sit in and wait up for him then he needs a wake up call.Sit down with him and tell him that you are not happy with the situation and that you feel lonely and unloved and taken for granted.Tell him that things will have to change,you need to compromise here.If he still doesnt give a toss then tell him that your not going to continue with this half hearted relationship and that you want out.Sometimes people need a good shake up,and when threatened,he might just start pulling his socks up!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2005): Then leave his ass...and find someone who really wants to be with you...if he loves u he would take u with him bnecause he loves being wiht you and wants to be with you...if he respects u he would tell his friends that they better b cool with u goin out with them...cause friends are jus friends they wont b there like a great girlfriend, a future life partner...Tell him how u feel, try to work it out, ask him questions, and if he doesnt want to try then he aint worth waiting at home for!
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female
reader, Racky +, writes (12 December 2005):
 hi
I advise you sit down and talk and explain to him how you are feeling. May be you could arrange a night out with friends and tell him in advance so he knows he is looking after the child. go for a meal together and try and get back to how things was. he may have feelings he is finding hard to express. follow what you feel is right. hope you get back on track. all the best
racky
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