A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I'm going to keep this short and sweet.I liked this girl in my school for a really long time. We have been friends for a while too. A couple weeks ago, I was going to ask her out on a date. I walked over to her to ask, and in the conversation she was having with her friends, I heard she was in a relationship with another guy. My heart literary broke that day... I just feel so depressed all the time now. My friends keep telling me to find someone else, but I can't get over the idea that it might happen again. (And besides, I'm one of those video game and computer nerds, so that really affects me when I try to meet other girls). I can't stop thinking about her. She doesn't even talk to me anymore...If you guys (or girls) could help tell me what to do, or how to get over this, It would be really helpful.Thanks-G
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): Hey G,
Sorry that the girl you had an eye on, already has a BF.
What can be learnt from this? The Early Bird Catches The Worm. Meaning, next time, when you know you like a girl like that, act soon. Who knows if she felt the same, but somebody else asked her out first, so now she is taken.
You need to move on... ALTHOUGH, to make absolutely sure you did not have a missed opportunity, you could try having a conversation with her sometime, where you ask her how she is, is she happy with her boyfriend, etc. It's early days, who knows if it's all she wants it to be? If she knew you had been interested, would it have changed anything? You need to make sure.
If however, she has stopped contact even as a friend, and her interest is in her boyfriend and she is truly happy, then you need to respect that, and move on.
I'm sorry you are heart broken by this... one day you WILL look back and feel ok again. Right now, your heart, mind and soul need to process the lost opportunity, and that is ok, just don't let it go on too long. That is why your friends say: "Get over her and move on" It is easier said than done, especially someone you liked so much, but it will ease with passage of time.
Don't be down on yourself, there is nothing wrong being a video and computer wizzard ;-) see - rather think positive than negative. Remember, there will be a girl out there that will LOVE that about you. That will
appreciate that about you. Believe in yourself, and that there will be a girl out there, meant for YOU. True love just for YOU. Be patient, and it will happen one day.
How do you get over this? By replacing her memory with something else. Other exciting things. A new game! Something to challenge your mind and keep you busy. Doing things with your friends instead of being home thinking about what could have been. Think of her only in terms of that you are happy she has someone, and you too will have someone one day. This will pass, just give it time, and in the meantime, be busy busy busy :) before you know it, your heart will heal, you will feel better, and hey, you might see another girl you can set your sights on. I know right now it may be the farthest thing from your mind, but that will change, in the future. Give it time.
Wishing you a speedy recovery for your heart :) and all the happiness you desire and deserve.
xxxx E
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): First things first, the only thing that will heal this is not seeing her that much anymore and giving it time. It will go away then after a while. It sucks major ass but you have to tough it out. It will get easier and fade away.
Second of all never, ever admire a girl from a distance. You like a girl then just go for it man. Simple as that. You go over to her and start talking to her, if she seems nice ask her to meet up for coffee or other such activity and get to know her a bit better, then put the moves on, simple as that. Women are easy as hell in that respect, they don't even have to necessarily like you to give you that chance. They just love a guy with the balls to make the move. Don't waste your time longingly gazing at a girl and dreaming just get it done.
OP I too love VG's. My life will essentially be complete when Mass Effect 3 comes out next month, but you shouldn't define yourself on the things that are your hobbies. I could spend all this week playing an mmo, or playing my pacifist monk character in Skyrim, or flying jets in Battlefield 3 or I could go out and get laid. I have a girlfriend who loves to play games too so they don't clash.
OP the skills you have acquired by playing games all can translate into dating too. You know that rush you get after taking down a difficult boss on your 10th attempt when literally one more hit and you would have been killed, or the satisfaction of setting off some C4 just as that prick sniper who's taken you out 3 or 4 times returns to his camping spot? That's what it feels like when a girl agrees to a date. That feeling is why we play games, well that feeling is why we date women too.
The exact same as VG's dating is about getting that rush, it becomes addictive and the same as games it takes practice and you get better at it the more you do it. You're going to "die" a lot as you learn but you're not one of those gamers that throws his controller at the screen and never plays a game again if it's too hard are you? No the challenge is the best part, you pick yourself up, press start again and you run back into the action a little more wise of how it works than the last time you tried. Dating can be like Dark Souls, it can be punishingly hard, it can get you down but then when you beat it the taste of victory is so sweet it more than makes up for that.
90% of playing games is failure, falling off a ledge, not casting the spell in time, not taking one specific corner fast enough, getting your ass handed to you by a a guy who can no-scope a head shot with a sniper rifle mid-air. Dating is the same it's trial and error. So just treat dating like the game that it is and just have some fun OP. Don't make it this big serious life ending thing and don't sit back and look at girls dreaming of being with them. It's a waste of time and it doesn't feel good at all. Get out there and play the game.
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