A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid,ive been with my girlfriend for a year and 2 months. but the last few days have become chaotic. i found out she was cheating on me for 6 months while we've been dating. since i found out yesterday ive been throwing up and crying until i cant anymore. i found out from an old friend who stayed with her for a couple of weeks. they didnt do anything sexually. they only kissed. theyre in a class together but i just dont know what to do. she told him everything about me and broke up with him because she loves me. i love her with my heart and soul but it crushed me to find out she did this. i know she feels horrible about it because when i called her she was already crying to the point it seemed like i died. she swore on the life of her mother they did nothing but i don't know what to do... please help me.
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female
reader, blahblahblahh  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 Heartbreak is the worst of all pains, you have to ask yourself, does your love for her overpower the bad that she has done to you? One kiss is bad enough, to cheat on someone for six months and still claim to love them is hard to believe. In my opinion, you clearly love her far more than she has loved you, I cannot understand how people can say they've cheated on someone yet still love them. Maybe she loves you, but I can't see how she can be IN love with you. Take a long break, step back from the situation, these things can take years to truely get over. Don't tourture yourself, and her crying and pouring her heart out is most likely out of guilt. If she cares that much about you she would of never treated you like this. Once trust is broken and feelings are shattered, it takes an awful lot to mend. You are young, and you have plenty of time to meet your right match, or for them to find you. Do you really think you'll ever be okay with her again? Or deep down do you think this will taunt you forever if you remain with her? Do what is best for you no matter how terrible you feel at this moment, see how you feel apart from her and only time will tell. Personally, I think leopards don't change their spots, and don't you think you deserve better?
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (7 October 2010):
 You need to take some time to think whether ornot you can trust her again. If she managed to hide it from you for 6 months, who's to say she couldn't do it again?
Think about what you need right now. You say you still love her, and that's fair enough, noone ca just switch off their feelings for someone. Talk things through with sme friends or family, see what they think, but ultimately only you can decide where to go from here.
Sorry if i've not been much help, but i hope you can figure something out. Good luck! x
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 She was crying because she felt guilty and feeling sorry for herself. Its completely natural for you to feel so upset and to feel so broken inside. Any kind of cheating is wrong weather it was a kiss or more its still cheating and 6 months is a long time to have an affair and she wasnt crying to you then when she was doing it, my advice would be to end this relationship as nobody deserves a second chance from cheating as if you forgive her its just sending signals to her that its ok to behave this way, ok so you love her and you dont want to let her go because it will hurt, but can you honestly say six months down the line when you find out she was out socializing with some guy you arent automatically going to get those little feelings that she is cheating again, it will always be in the back of your mind niggling. Yet if you honestly think that through time you could trust her again then tell her she needs to do a lot of making up and has to gain your trust back as this doesnt come slowely, whatever you decide good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): Wow, this is a situation that you wouldnt even wish on your worst enemy. Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings possible and although at the moment you probably feel as though everything and everyone is against you and just want to curl up into a ball and ignore the world. This is exactly what you SHOULDNT do!!
To find out that a girl you have loved for over a year has been cheating on you for that long is hard to believe and although she seems to feel terrible about it that doesnt let her off what she has done. Unfortunately, the chances of her doing something like that again are higher than those of her not so your best bet is probably to love her and leave her. You dont want to risk having your heart broken again!
You will find someone who loves everything about you and doesnt need anyone else - someone who deserves you!
Good luck with everything :)
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