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female
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*ark_Storm11
writes: Hi there!This is a friend problem rather then bf.I have been sharing a horse with one of my friends. This is like my dream come true. I can't afford a horse so I give her £20 a week to cover bits and bobs. I have been helping her since March last year and I quickly picked up the routine. Anyway, recently I have been experiencing headaches. They are quite bad and stopped me going school for a bit. I'm being referred to the hospital so over this week I havent really had chance to go up to the stables to do the jobs.Now my friend goes up there every morning just to feed all the animals and do certain jobs. I can't do this as my bus is unpredicatable. We had a few arguments about it and I decided to buy a moped.I have sent off for my licence and am well on the way to taking my test as soon as I get my licence.However when my friend woke up late one moring she text me asking if I was going school. I said I might be depends how I felt when i got up.(as my headaches are usually worse in the mornings.)She text me back saying how angry she is that she had to do all the work and how I can't be arsed to get out of bed! She also said that I'm doing nothing to contribute towards sharing.I said that I'm ill and that I am contributing. It's not every day someone goes to the lengths of buying a moped and finding a job that works after school and not weekends because she didn't want to do all the work on her own.It was just bad luck that I was ill and couldn't go up stables - obviously I let her know before that I wasn't coming up and she was fine with it then.Anyway this argument has been going on since Thursday and now she said she don't want me to come up this weekend because she wants to see how she can manage the horses alone.I love the horse that I'm sharing and I can't believe that she tearing him away from me. I understand that he is hers at the end of the day but it doesn't take away the fact that I love the horse.She has been having money issues. I helped her out by loaning her shetland off her, which I didn't even want, he was a lovely pony, but I got no benefit out of him.She also told me that I don't care about anything but riding the horse - which is completely untrue, I love being on the ground with them, especially as the foal plays games with us.I am a real animal lover, and have become too emotionally attached to let them go.Who is in the wrong, and what should I do?Thanks for taking the time to read this. Dark_Storm11 xx
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (29 January 2006):
 Owning any animal is kind of like having a child, one that doesn't mature past a certain point so will always rely on the care of their "parents". I suffer from migraine headaches and have 3 small children, when I have a migraine headache it is almost impossible to function, my vision is blurred my head is throbbing and I usually vomit more than once before I finally pass out hoping that I don't wake up with it. My point is that when I get one if my children need to be fed or need to be cared for in some way and my husband is not home to help me, I have to push past the pain and help them to the best of my ability, even if it means crawling to the fridge because it hurts to stand up. I believe that in some ways you are both in the wrong, I think maybe you didn't realize what type of responsibility you were taking on by sharing this pony with her, and maybe she is expecting you to function above your means (since you are still waiting on your license for your moped and all). I also realize that you feel like you are going to extreme lenths to help her care for this animal, and that is great because that is what you should do as an animal lover/owner, but you have to accept that this responsibility goes far beyond what is convenient at the time. If you trully want to be a part of owning the animal you have to show up on your days, even if you need to get up two hours early to make sure your head doesn't hurt and if it does have time to medicate yourself and allow it to take effect. That pony is relying on you, whether or not you feel well, it has to eat. Call your friend and tell her that you are making a commitment to the pony and to her to be there, everytime you are supposed to be and then make sure you are! If you can't do this then you might as well let her take care of it herself, that way the pony doesn't suffer because of your medical issues. Good luck.
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