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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship for 10 years,but in the last 6 months I have met someone else, and I have fallen deeply in love with her. We have started to see each other more regularly..as often as we can..and I believe we want the same thing. She is married with children, and says she will never split up her home life. My relationship has become very routine, and I think thats why I started looking elsewhere for what I am missing. My girlfriend doesn't really deserve me doing this....and I don't mean to hurt her,but I am SO in love with my new girl. I guess my real question is...do I stick with my partner knowing that my new girl will NEVER leave her husband..or do I ask my new girl just how deeply she cares for me, and if she sees a time without her husband, but with me instead?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): Well it seems that we have something in common. I'm married for one year now but we're 6 years together. I'm in love with someone else...he is single with a child. I do not have any children, but being with someone for 6 years is tough to let go...and yes, there are things that have change over the years we're together. And I am looking and wanting something more, things that I've been missing...and I found this person...I truly love and care this person, but I am doubtful about his feelings though...not just because he loves me dearly and cares about me...but everytime he mentions to make love to me...all I could think is all he wants is sex and that's it....I kissed him but haven't sleep with him...not just because I'm feeling guilty...but I hate to see myself being fooled and just used for sex...which is on the other hand, I am truly and sincere about my feelings and that really hurts more if he's not real about his feelings.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2006): Thankyou for your answers with my problem.I am still seeing my new girl and she has told me she is going to speak with her husband about us.I think she is going to leave him for me,but is worried what effect it will have on her children,so won't be rushing into things just yet.If she decides to tell him,then I will do the same with my partner.I don't want to stay in a relationship that is dying.Everyone deserves more than that I think..so I believe whatever happens with my new girl,I need to split from my current relatioship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2006): I think you should speak to your girlfriend. You've shared your life with this woman for 10 years, you should have some sort of connection with her. Let her know you're having a very difficult time right now and that you need to speak with her. Let her know that lately you've felt things are somewhat stale between you two, that it feels somewhere along the way something went missing between you two. Ask her how SHE feels about the way your relationship currently is. This will help open up communication between you two as long as you both LISTEN to each other and try to have empathy for how the other feels. Perhaps during the conversation there will be an opening to explain your interest in another woman... perhaps you're girlfriend will express feelings that it is better if you two go your seperate ways, or perhaps she'll break down in complete and utter agony, not having seen this coming. Be prepared for anything, but give her the chance to know your feelings towards her. As to the new girl in your life. It sounds to me like you're playing with fire. It sounds like she is interested in you, but not enough to leave her husband. Do you really want to be second man? No matter how much she says she loves you or cares about you, it's not YOU she's married to. The current arrangement may be okay for now, but what about in 5 years? Are you going to live the rest of your life as a secret lover? That's not fair to you, or her husband, and it will probably end up getting her into trouble one way or another. And what if she DOES leave her husband for you? She made vows to honor and love her husband till death do them part, yet even now she is being unfaithful. Will you be able to trust her to hold that faith with you? Didn't you at one point feel the same way about your girlfriend as you do with this girl now? Love isn't that warm tingle, heart pounding, palms sweating feeling you get just looking at someone. Love is standing by and supporting someone when thier eyes are puffy, nose is running, hair amess, knees scraped up and you wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Nobody wants to be in a stale relationship, so the best thing to do is to talk to your girlfriend. Perhaps you two can bring the spice back into your life... or perhaps you will go your seperate ways, either way though, this new girl seems like nothing but trouble.
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (28 January 2006):
 All relationships go through boring periods as well as lively and exciting periods, you have been together for 10 years and went looking for something more exciting and you found it, so from here it looks like you need to make some seriouse decisions, ask your new girlfriend what she want from your relationship, let her know that you are happier with her and are thinking of leaving your partner to be with her, if she just wants to carry things on as they are then you need to think about finishing this as it is not fair on your partner, she has done nothing wrong, maybe you could just try and spice up your relationship, if you decide to finish your affair you can concentrate on getting back the magic you had 10 years ago, but if you are unhappy with your partner and possibly she is with you, then maybe there is no way it can be repaired, 10 years is a lot to throw away so dont decide to lightly.
good luck
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