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female
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anonymous
writes: He would rather not spend more time with me but party/nightclub.I became attached to my boyfriend after 6 month dating, he claimed busy all the time, he is a MBA student. Everytime I want to be with him, he always gave me a list of things he need run for. It was always me who gave/cancelled my plan to meet him. He can continutely party two/three nights until 3:30am but every time he spent time with me, before 1:00am he will ask to go back to sleep. I talked this to him a couples of times since I felt hurt, I felt unwanted and being ingored. He denied my opinion and said he really really want to be with me and love me stuff. Tonight again,I went to see him, he told me he could only meet for a few minutes since he was busy for homework. But when I called him around 12:00am, he was in a local bar as I assumed. It always happened!!I tried to break up with him since he never understood my feelings. I do not object him to go to bars but I can not stand a boyfriend who would like to spend more time at bars than being with me. Also, I do not know what he is looking for at a bar?!How can I break up with him? I tried a couples of times but failed becasue I love him too much. Now I run out of all of my patience and tears, I was depressed for a long time and could not focus on my school. can not sleep/eat well beause this relationship had lots of problems, such as: he is too arrogant and egocentric, he does not care about my feelings lots of time, he does not spend enough time with me, low quality of sex life (he left me alone after he cum)etc. I can not take more headache--
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2006): Personally..I think he's sucking the life energy out of you and you need a break. You are a nurturer, a giver and he's a 'taker'. Stop feeling upset and guilty for asking your bf to stop thinking of just his wants and needs and to begin giving more. This has obviously become an either/or situation with you. Either he gives more or you walk away. What I find striking about your posting is how you both are so different. As a result of your differing relationship goals and core values, you are the one suffering..you are feeling used and put-upon. My suggestion, turn him loose. Do it gently but honestly. there is no special way of doing it. Just be honest and do it, face to face. Date someone who shares your views on what equality in relationships mean. You have drive and he doesn’t. Find someone who is your equal, has a similar vision, and is willing to work with you and not against you. Face the truth of your situation, decide what is really important and make it your life.
A
male
reader, Alexamanoo +, writes (14 April 2006):
This person sounds exactly as you described him. Arrogant and self-obsessed. I see not much other choice than to break up with him myself. You have to think what YOU really want. You know that what YOU want is him out of your life. YOU need to take the plunge and get it over with. This relationship is feeding on YOUR life. YOUR quality of life. YOU don't deserve his kind of partner. He does not deserve YOU. All I can say is that only YOU can break it up with him. I honestly think he only said he loves you to keep it together. You need to take the plunge. Sit him down and just say you don't want to see him anymore. Explain why and then walk away. You don't need to hear the pleads, just think about your happiness. Isn't that what he did to you? This is all about YOU. Only you can finish it, only you can decide. Do yourself a favour and jump off the ledge (not literally!). The water isn't as cold as you thought. I hope all works out well.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (14 April 2006):
 This guy has more time for his friends than you, it's a common story. But you are both young, why do you need him to be at your beack and call 24/7 and why does he have to check in with you each time he feels like changing his plans?
If this isn't the relationship for you then get out, or start to accept another person may have a life outside of your relationship.xx
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (14 April 2006):
 Hi,
You want out? Then Let him down gently. Explain everything to him and tell him yourself, face to face. Don't let him find out from someone else.
I hope all goes well and BLESSED BE!
Phoebe
xxx
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A
female
reader, Lilly_Shipley +, writes (14 April 2006):
 Hey there,
You sound like a nice person stuck in a 'one way' relationship.
If this guy really loves you then he will listen to you and respect your feelings about this relationship. Try talking to him and telling him that you are leaving unless he gets his priorities straight.
If he ignores you and keeps treating you this way just walk. There are plenty more fish in the sea, and better ones too.
I hope that this helps you.
Lilly
xxx
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