A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years, and the sex has never really been frequent enough for my sex drive. I comprimiesd and settled for once a week, but then I got greedy and didn't want to expirment too much because I wanted to make sure I orgasimed. I would even pressure him insesently if it was longer then a week until I got it. I realized this was causing a problem, because I felt like I was raping him, so I stopped. We talked about it, and it seemed to get better, but now we only have sex on his terms, which if I'm lucky is once a month. This is a problem! And to make matters worse he's masterbating when I'm gone and then lying about it. I caught him the other day and I flipped out and almost left him. We sat down and talked about it calmly and set some boundries. But I'm still infuriated at the thought of him masterbating, I feel like he's cheating on me! I know he loves me, and he makes me feel beautiful, but he doesn't have sex with me. If I ask for it, it's almost like I have to wait longer then if I had not asked. I've tried pretending I don't want it, I've tried spicing things up, I've tried telling him I'm ok with him masterbating, I've tried lights on/off, different rooms. The only way I get it is if I wait for him to want it, and he masterbates at least once a week. What can we do as a couple to fix this?
View related questions:
sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): This web-site npsupport.net will help you with your struggle to try anything and everything to 'fix' the situation.
There is nothing wrong with you, it is your boyfriend's problem and he is not alone. If you read this board on any given day, there are women just like you totally baffled at what is wrong and questioning "is it me?".
This was unheard of 15 years ago, it is now quite common. If your boyfriend doesn't seek professional help, run, don't walk....out the door. If he is addicted, he will need help to quit.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): I was in this situation recently and my now ex (because I did break up with him) was very addicted to porn. He let me go 3 month without it, our sex life, as yours was never really frequent to begin with. When i'd ask he would tell me no and or he didnt feel like it. And when he did finally give in, i'd have to wait another month and i'd only get it then because i'd once agin have to damn near beg!! Maybe you two just do not have a sexual spark with each other, or he doesn't have one with you for whatever reason, maybe he watches too much porn and he's more attracted to what he sees there than you. Thats what i came to think about my ex, or maybe i'm wrong. Either way, you don not deserve this. Your man should be wanting to have sex with you all the time if not most of the time and should not rather masturbate. If he does not change this behavior, I say leave him. its just not fair. You will then find someone who not only loves and cares for you but who will want to give it to all the time ) hope this helps
...............................
|
