A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone so im a little new to the site. But I'm needing some advice. i'm 20 years old i have a 2 year old daughter. Through out my whole dating life i've only dated 4 guys. They were all serious relationships. Any way. My last relationship was with my 2 year olds father we was together 16 months. We broke up march 15th 2011. I was devastated after the break up. I was single for 10 months i talked to guys but they wasn't dating material. I remember how i felt. I felt alone i had no one to cuddle with me or hold me or anything. I started talking to this guy in January we started dating in February were still together but its slowly coming to an end. The past month I've felt unhappy. We used to do everything together until it got to the point we was spending way to much time together. Now we never do anything together. We always stay home all day and everyday. The only thing we do is shop together. He wont go to family cookouts and stuff with me unless i beg him. He wont go any where with me cause he says its boring. I've offered to go to his city to do things together but he says no because he says the stuff he likes i dont like. We fight all the time. This is what we do everyday we stay home he plays his game and i stay up stairs. He goes to work at 11pm gets off at 7am comes home sleeps wakes up plays his game or goes to his city which is 45 minutes away. Thats all we do. We do things separately now. I have to beg him to go or do anything with me. Idk what else to do. I love him very much. But idk how to fix things. If i decide to break up how do i over come the fear of being single and not having anyone to cuddle with or someone to hold me and all that stuff and just feeling lonely?
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2013): You must concentrate on your child. You put the baby first and make plans for a good future. Men have been your downfall. You're too needy. You speak nothing of going to college and getting an education. You jumped right into serious relationships with boys.
It may be generalizing; but many women who spend a lot of time looking for men to cuddle, didn't receive a lot of comfort and affection from their fathers.
They grow up always craving affection from men. Men don't show a lot of emotion. Clingy women tend to make them more uncomfortable. They pull away. They feel smothered when you try to pull them closer.
You are co-dependent on any man you take into your life. You don't know how to take care of yourself. You avoided getting an education; now you depend on them for financial support, even if you work. Are you in school, do you have an education, or did you go to a career school?
You can't get out and make friends; because you have a toddler who needs you. So you learn to plan things around being a mom.
That should be your focus. You need to go to school to get your mind off just being a girlfriend. You can take classes online. That way, you can be with the baby, and still get a degree. You can fill your time with reading and learning.
Get a nice little puppy. The puppy will grow up with your baby, and be a great comfort and companion.
An education will build your confidence and give you earning power. Men aren't going to take care of you, if they know you can't contribute.
They will manipulate you and treat you like a child. They will not respect you; until they see your strength as woman. It's there, you apparently never had anyone to push and inspire you. You may be your mother all over again. She probably did the same thing you are doing now.
When you make up your mind, it's just you and baby. You will find a strength you never thought you had. I hope these words will inspire you. You are a loving person, and deserve good things. You will have to be the one to reach out and get it.
Baby is depending on you for your strength.
I know you can do it. Don't depend on men. Depend on yourself. Haven't men disappointed you enough? You will find a good one in time, but you first have to become a better woman. a stronger and more confident person.
At some point, you may need to become a single mother.
That guy living with you is just a dud. He takes up space and isolates you from everything. You're just his cook and housekeeper. Occasionally his sex partner.
When you get tired of this crap, you'll decide to do something about it. Our words mean nothing, unless you do something.
|
