A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it weird for a man not to tell you how old he is when you ask? Especially if it's a man you've been out on a few dates with?He refuses to tell me and gets defensive. I didn't think it was a big deal at the time, so I dropped it. But now I'm wondering if I do need to know... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, swordandredrose +, writes (5 January 2011):
He definitely has a problem with you knowing his age. I think he is older than what he looks like and he is scared you are not going to stay with him after you know his age. But you can't continue like that. You SHOULD know his age, and if he thinks that you might have a problem with it it's better for you to end your relationship as soon as possible.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 January 2011):
 How odd. Age is one of the first details you tell your date. It's necessary for those who too big of an age gap is a deal breaker.
How old does he look? Does he look significantly older than you? I'm wondering if he's older than he looks. I agree with Xanthic, if he can't divulge a minor detail like his age, then what else is he holding back on? You might want to rethink dating this mysterious man.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): That is strange and he's probably old enough that he thinks if he tells you, you would consider him too old to date. Maybe he is a very young looking 40 year old and he doesn't want to be perceived as middle aged. He doesn't sound very open.
BUT,then again he isn't lying to you, he would just rather not answer the question. So I'm not sure you should assume he's hiding things from you. I have a had a couple middle age men lie about their age to me. He's not doing that.
I've also had men ask me how much I weigh (I think they ask because I'm very tall). I answer them reluctantly, though I wish they wouldn't ask. It feels like an intrusive question to me, it's probably the same issue w/ middle aged men and their age.
If he's otherwise an open person and this is just a sensitive spot for him (he may indeed be just middle aged and cranky, the two traits seem to go together), I'd lay off of it for a while and let him tell you on his own.
If you stay together at all, you're gong to find out at somepoint anyway. See if you like him first.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): He is probably worrying that you will reject him on the basis of his age.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): Xanthic is right. Asking someones age shouldn't be a big deal, especially if your considering becoming an item.
I'd just stop seeing him if i was you.
...............................
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (5 January 2011):
 Yes, it's weird. It means he has something to hide. If he's going to hide something as trivial as age from you, is it really worth waiting to find out what else he's hiding?
...............................
|
