A
female
age
26-29,
*ikayla5170
writes:I've been talking with this guy for months now, but lately I'm juSt having difficulty dealing with him. He was really caring, and acts nice and always tries to keep the conversation going. We had a fight a 2 weeks ago, and I hurt him with my behavior and my words, and I did apologized to him and he accepted it and changed the topic and we were talking as if nothing happened. A few days later, I talked to him again, and he he seemed really distant, cold, and he was talking as if he don't want to talk. I gave him some space and talked to him days later, and he was acting ever more distant and wouldn't bother himself trying to keep talking to me, so I told him that I'll talk to him later because he doesn't seem okay, and I told him I seem to be bothering him but he said no, which is obviously, he is lying. And the problem was that, he has been lately talking to another girl, and this girl has been spreading rumors about me, and treating me like crap since she knew that he likes me, and he has no idea that she is doing this to me, and since they both are talking, he has been ignoring me, and treating me as if I don't exist. I was really annoyed, and that's why I was angry at him, because I don't know how to express how I'm feeling about that girl. And he has no idea that the girl is only jealous of me, because she only started talking to him and treating me like shit exactly after a day she knew we are both talking. Now he hadn't talked to me or even initiate a talk for 2 weeks. Seems as if he is down for the girl she's playing him, since she's trying to make him hate me. I'm really hurt that I tried my best to fix everything, and still, he still ignores and acts as if I don't exist. Or maybe he is hurt from the way I was angry at him? I don't know, and I have no idea if I should message him again, or give him his own space to talk to me first. And I don't know how to deal with that girl, because Shes already manipulating him, he is a very nice guy and generous.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 May 2016):
 He sounds like he is trying to get you to leave him alone, and you sound like you are being a bit clingy. Maybe he likes this other girl, and yes she has not been fair making up rumors about you, it sounds though like he has choose to take her side rather than yours. He could have lost interest in you. So no don't message him again, leave him alone and move on with your life. You don't want to look desperate or clingy.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 May 2016):
 Who knows for sure if he will talk to you again?
My guess is, he will talk to you again. WHEN he wants something from you. Be that attention, affection, drama or to make you feel bad.
I honestly would just let him go. In your mind wish him well and then move on. He is HARDLY the only boy around.
And really if he can't HANDLE occasional arguments, but back off with a dose of silent treatment, how can you move forward? *hint* you can't.
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A
female
reader, mikayla5170 +, writes (23 May 2016):
mikayla5170 is verified as being by the original poster of the question@homeypie does the silent treatment thing means that he won't talk to me again? I know he's a stubborn person but could this stubbornness lead him not to talk to me ever again? And was I too stupid to ask him twice if he's mad at me? He's a very sensitive person, but I'm not sure what else to do to prove that im really sorry. He's at my college, he never talked to me in person, he just keeps looking at me but never talks. The last time I talked to him, I asked him why he has been acting odd, and he said that he's busy, which is a very very lame excuse.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 May 2016):
I don't think he is as NICE as you think he is.
IF you two had a disagreement/argument and you apologized and HE accepted that apology him giving you the "silent treatment" is not nice. It basically means he DIDN'T accept the apology and maybe also that the REASON for the argument has turned him off you a bit. You are less "classy" or whatnot to him now... less attractive. IT HAPPENS.
IF he CHOOSES to listen to that other girl talk smack about you, THAT IS ON HIM. You can not control what SHE says, does, think or feel. SAME goes for him. IF he chooses to be "friends" with HER over you, that is HIS right. HE can choose WHOM he wants to talk to.
LET HIM GO. He isn't worth it. Think about it. He RATHER spend time talking to another girl. One who may or may not be a toxic person. But here is the thing. I seriously doubt he is SO utterly stupid that he can't figure out WHY she talks smack about you. YOU WERE her competition for him.
So LET her have him. At some point they will argue and he will give HER the silent treatment and find yet a 3rd girl to chat up.
You weren't in a relationship with him, you were "just talking" - so my guess is you never went out on dates and spend time together in person? Now if that is what it was... that is only really exciting if there is an end goal of meeting up and getting to know each other IN person. Otherwise, you two were over-glorified penpals.
Let him go. And let him down of the "he is so nice and blah blah" pedestal. Look at his actions. ARE those actions of a nice person? Or a petty one?
Forget about her. She isn't worth the drama either. If the ONLY way she can "get" a guy is by talking smack about other girls, she is kind of pathetic.
Hang out with friends, spend time around and with positive people. Have fun, live life. Don't sit on your hands waiting for him to realize he made the wrong choice in girls. And NEXT time you talk to a guy, LOOK at his actions. Not just soak up his words. Someone who "claims" to be over an argument but then gives you the silent treatment are NOT nice nor caring.
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