A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello,me and my partner have been together 3 years now i have 2 chidren with him one from my previous realationship.he never likes to take me out eneywhere he just makes excusess all the time like he as no money but he goes out on his own why why?
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female
reader, toomuch stress  +, writes (3 October 2010):
 This is usually a big red flag.
I can see why you are concerned and you have every right to be. If he goes out with his friends but doesn't take you out something is wrong. My mother went through something similiar. She had a boyfriend and they lived together. He would go out all the time while she was working or home and never wanted to go out with her. He would go to his friends houses and to the local bar and whenever she wanted to go out or said she did with him he didn't "feel like it" or didn't have the money to. If this sounds like you, then I may be onto something.
First off, have you sat down and tried to tell him how much it means to you? If so, then great. But if not, you need to. Men don't pick up on signs very well and unfortunately sometimes we have to spell it out for them.
Usually in any case like this you would want to assume that he isn't wanting to be seen with you in public for a number or reasons that are hurtful. He is seeing someone else and doesn't want the two of you to run into each other, he is embarrased of taking you in public, or he doesn't take your relationship very seriously. These may very likely be your answer, but don't automatically jump to conclusions.
As I said earlier, my mother went through a similiar problem. She finally addressed him about it and his response was as always, that he had no money to go out. But what she found out after further discussion was that he thought she expected him to pay for everything of hers if she did go out. He thought she would want to go out to a fancy restraunt or expected her to want him to pick up her tab at the bar. She thought she was silly for assuming so many other things and after agreeing to pay her way they ended up going out all the time.
What I am getting at is, this may be a major red flag to you and make you think the endless things it could be. But unless you talk to him, you don't know if its just something minor that he isn't saying that could be no big deal at all. But you won't know, unless you talk to him about it.
Until then, go out on your own. Show him, you as well as he can go out and have fun.
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