A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi me and my ex/ babydad got into a really bad argument in july and he won't see our kid its going on 3 months. We dated awhile the relationship ended because of (jealousy) and he won't see our child if we're not together what do I do?? How do I go about that??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): Thanks everyone! No I haven't put him on child support I thought he would change still haven't so I guess I will. It hurts because his son misses him but guess that doesn't matter.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Emotional blackmail is ugly.
Is he paying his child support? IF NOT get a lawyer and take him to court for the child support. He does not have to see the child to support him/her
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (12 September 2011):
 If he does not want to see your child if you are not together, that is emotional blackmail.
He would not be worth forcing to visit his child. DO see a lawyer to secure financial support, but unfortunately you can not force someone to be a Daddy.
It might be in your child's best interest to NOT have a relationship with his Father.
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Be careful what you wish for: if this person refuses to see his child as a punishment to you, then he isn't going to be a good father when/if he IS visiting them.
Although the threat wasn't made so directly, I was once in a similar position. I didn't care, though. As far as I was concerned, my daughter was going to have as happy a life as I could give her. I obtained a lawyer to seek child support, which I was awarded.
Because of the court proceedings, there were visits for a while, until the new wife got jealous and made things complicated. Now he hasn’t seen my daughter for about 6 years, although the child support is still regular (in Ontario, his wages are garnished).
My child was saddened by this at first, but I spoke honestly with her (not angrily – she can be angry if she wants, but I won’t teach her to be that way) and reminded her that "Daddy" pays child support and loves her, even if he isn't the best father and makes stupid mistakes. These mistakes are a reflection of him – not a reflection of her. My daughter has always been happy, and now she is happier; barely thinking of him. She has a beautiful relationship with his entire family (which he has isolated himself from) as well as mine.
One day, he’ll come back into her life… or he won’t. It’s not my job to ensure he is a good father. It is simply my job to be the best mother I can be and to give her all the tools possible to live a successful and happy life IN SPITE of life’s unfairness, which I can’t protect her from.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Louise93  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 well if you don't love em then don't get back with him and tell him that he should want to see his child and if does'nt then his not wourth being with you not much of a man to not want his own child jus cause you dont want him
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