A
female
age
36-40,
*ictorious_maiden
writes:my boyfriend have a second myspace account and he refuses to remove his ex from his friends list,he removed her from his top friends list but he wont remove her from the friends list
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): i would insist that he removes her. i had the same problem and the girlfriend ended up sending messages that she missed him and i caused a major fight between us. if he loves you, he shouldn't be in contact with the ex. put your foot down... if he doesn't care enough to do it, you deserve better.
A
female
reader, victorious_maiden +, writes (27 June 2008):
victorious_maiden is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have ask my boyfriend to remove his ex from his myspace page and he still refuses ...I have not invaded his pprivacy the page is public... his ex has done everything she can think of to break us up and yet she remains on his friends list ,she sends very nasty notes she even send pictures of them together just to get to me and he will not remove her from the list but he says he doesn't want her he loves me ...no matter what she has done to wreck our relationship he still keep her on the friends list
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): I think the main question is why do you care? If you don't trust him enough to not contact his ex as more than just friends, then that's the real problem. I could care less that my boyfriend is still friends with his exs' on myspace. He is with several of them, I know who they are and it doesn't bother me at all. That's why I think the real issue is either you don't trust him irrationally or he has given you reason to not trust him. Both are problems.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): I disagree that you shouldn't be bothered. I'd be bothered. Social Networking sites give the user a lot of room to have duality in their lives, and this can lead to paranoia and distrust of a lover. Why? Because its very hard to know if someone is cheating on you through these sites, their not real, but virtual, and its also a case of the thought police, as you can never tell what feelings and thoughts might be making him stay friends with her. In the real world without the interent, it would be fairly easy to tell if your partner was cheating on you, phone calls and meetings actually occur, but the internet is something else. The same thing is happening to me at the moment, and I dont know if I am paranoid or if the situation is making me paranoid.Either way, I'm thinking an ex is an ex and if you still liked the ex then why are you not with them? Hence, why bother keeping in contact? Maybe hes just a lovely guy who likes to stay in touch - out of all the guys I'm friends with and colleagues with, there are perhaps 3 that would stay in touch with their ex's, and if I were honest with you and myself, thats because I know that tose guys still envisage themselves and their ex's making things work.
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 hi there,
i have to disagree with most of what people are saying here. I understand your concerns, i have seen it in the past where men and women have remained so called "friends" with their exs...i honestly dont think this is possible as there will always be something there.
its a possiblity that its all innocent...call me sceptical but why would you want to keep details of your ex...its exactly that...an ex..so should be left in the past.
The one thing i would agree with is if you logged on without his go ahead, then it is an invasion of his privacy and this would be something that he would have a right to be annoyed about to be honest!!
Of course he is entitled to his friends...but i believe an ex is more than a friend. I have gone out with people in the past and could never see the point of keeping details of my exs.
Talk to him, tell him how it makes you feel and that it upsets you.
Take care
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Hi,
I think these facebooks and myspace accounts destroy relationships and are a gross intrusion on people's privacy. So many partners simply log on to their S.O's accounts to see what they are up to. Often it is very innocent.
If you have logged on without his consent you are invading his privacy and you have some explaining to do as you obviously dont trust him. This is hardly a good platform for a healthy relationship.
But the ex factor always gets in the way of new relationships. If you are uncomfortable with him being friends with his ex then you need to tell him, but he may react negatively as if he sees it as innocent he is merely going to see you as a snoop who doesnt trust him.
Good luck anyway.
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A
female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Is not very smart to push him like that.
Sorry but you had to hear sometime.
(The sad part is I'm 15 and i know that)
Now I am going to be harsh because you are being harsh as well.
First off you can't just tell him to remove her, its HIS friends list so if she is still his FRIEND then she belongs on that list. You DON'T determine who is on and who isn't on his friends list, he does. Secondly its pretty obvious that he is still friends with her and wants to keep it that way. Thats fine, normal. I have an ex who's gf want him to stop talking to me all together and he dumped her because we are great friends. So i wouldn't push him.
Secondly try and give him a little space.
~Hope This Helps~
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Perhaps he is still friends with her?
Have you asked your boyfriend about it? And I mean asked, not told. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable that her has here there and would feel better if he removed her from the list.
And if he doesn't, big deal. She's the ex and you're his girlfriend now. So long as they aren't exchanging sexy messages, what's there to worry about?
I really don't think who is on his Myspace list is something worth fretting over.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): Why should his ex worry you? Probably they're just friends. Don't pressure your boyfriend to do things he doesn't want to do, that just suffocates him. You wouldn't like him to tell you to do something you didn't want to. Just trust him on his judgement.
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