A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dunno what to do.Been with a guy 8 months and it feels like he loves me and I think I love him but some things freak me out. Like I think hes ashamed of me cause I'm younger and I'm black. He doesn't mind taking me out but he lives with his family and he told me he was sorry he couldn't invite me in but they'd go nuts if they saw me. Never met friends either so I'm thinking I should just leave. I don't want to ask why they'd go nuts. I don't want to look at him anymore. I feel like I fell for a trap. Hes always staring me at me straight in the eyes, holding my hand, jumping to help me and saying doing/sweet things. And recently, we started talking to each other first thing in the morning, last thing at night. Hes my first guy. I feel depressed. Think I do love him. What do I do? Am I overreacting? Am I his fling, his "exotic" sex toy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys...I needed your words. Been down all day and probably will be for a while. Had horrible thoughts about never dating outside my race in the future but I'm just angry and need time to cool down I suppose. I've mentioned this to him before, there's no way he's changing. I see that. I don't know whether to tell him over the phone or in person
A
female
reader, loveliee28  +, writes (2 October 2010):
I'm 21, black and my boyfriend is 17 years older than me and white. I used to wonder if he was ashamed of me, but I've met plenty of his friends, partner at work, best friend, boss, brother, and the list goes on. I haven't met mom yet, but she lives down south and we live up north. ANYWAY, the point I'm making is this: if you feel like he's ashamed of you, and you haven't met ONE single person yet, then chances are he is. I'm not saying that he doesn't like you/care for you, but this is not the way a normal relationship progresses. Leave his ass before you get hurt. Find someone who isn't ashamed to have you around his family and is willing to stand up for what he believes in. You need to set his ass straight and in this case, issue an ultimatum. Let him know that its been 8 months(PLENTY of TIME to meet people in his LIFE) and you either A. want to start being incorporated in his life or B. are gonna get the walking (and DO IT). This is ridiculous... you shouldn't be some huge secret. Leave his ass PLEASE.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Jesus what century is it?! This is disgusting!
Hun you deserve so much more! Dump him now!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2010): Ask why they would go nuts in case there is some other reason. Also, if the reason IS that you are black, tell him that you don't wish to remain invisible and ask him what he intends to do.
He sounds afraid of his parents, but if he wants to be with you then he should stand up to them. I don't think you are overreacting - you should be treated with respect and if you are not, dump him.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 He won't invite you in because you are black ???
I am speechless.
Honey ,you got yourself a bad one. Never mind the "he loves me- he loves me not ".
The real problem ,here, is that he is stoooopid and ignorant. I'm sure you can do much better.
NEXT !
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