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He won't give oral unless I shave and I really don't want to!

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 April 2009) 10 Answers - (Newest, 2 December 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *eed_some_lovin writes:

For a while when my boyfriend and i started dating i went down on him almost everytime we had sex and in between, expecting to get some oral lovin as well, but i got nothing. When i finally asked him to go down on me he said he doesn't really like to because he had a bad experience once. After a little bit i was fed up and told him i need some lovin. So for valentines day he went down on me and said he cant stand pubic hair and would only do it again if i shaved. I dont have the time to be shaving down there every other day not to mention the red bumps i get and painful ingrown hairs and theres no way in hell im paying somebody $60 a month to have the hair ripped out at a spa. I have thin blond hair that i keep completely trimmed and have never had any complaints before. i want to stop giving him oral unless i get some in return, other than that im not really sure how to handle this. Please help

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010):

My ex said the same thing to

Me and when I shaved he complained about the stubble! Don't shave

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A female reader, pshyeahright New Zealand +, writes (5 December 2009):

In my opinion; pubic hair is absolutely disguising. Stop complaining and go shave. If i were him i honestly would tell you the same thing. If you want some then you need to do what he wants. Maybe he doesn't appreciate a mouth full of hair; trimmed or not; this doesn't make him selfish; just cleanse.

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A male reader, Starkweather Australia +, writes (21 September 2009):

Starkweather agony auntSee, most girls simply can't appreciate what it feels like to have pubic hair brushing your mouth and tongue during oral, regardless of how well you trim the hair. Personally, I find it to be revolting and a major turn off. It feels unclean. Imagine licking your boyfriends armpits. That's what it's like for some guys.

I don't think his request is harsh or too much to ask. Buy some shaving cream for sensitive skin and don't shave against the hair and you shouldn't get any bumps. That way, you both get what you want.

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A male reader, Randya2 United States +, writes (24 May 2009):

If he can't love you for your natural self,,,, there are guys that can. You shouldn't have to change yourself for another person. Pubic hair is natural...if don't like it then you shouldn't have oral sex with an adult female.

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A male reader, PeteTTT United Kingdom +, writes (4 April 2009):

Short, fine blonde, well trimmed pubic hair with good personal hygiene isn't a problem to most guys.

Big wild, untamed boffs can be because, without trying to be too graphic, they can be quite a challenge on the face and sense of smell, thick bushy hair is hard to get properly clean, especially in sensitive areas where conventional soaps can cause chemical imbalances and subsequent medical complaints.

Choking on big wiry pubes that come adrift isn't much fun but he really has no excuse whatsoever if you keep your garden neat and clean.

I'd put an embargo on going south if I was you with the caveat that unless he's prepared to do it for you, you're not prepared to do it for him, quite frankly, to me your man sounds like a selfish git with, dare I say it, a prediliction for children's genitalia...

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A female reader, crimson_kiss United States +, writes (2 April 2009):

crimson_kiss agony auntI totally agree with your stand on this. He wants, but wont give? NO WAY! Bedroom activities should be a two way street and it sounds as though he just doesn't care about your needs and desires. If he really gave a lick (pardon the pun) he would do exactly what DOubleM suggested, spread and go to town.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (2 April 2009):

Honeypie agony auntIf you don't want to start shaving then don't. You can however meet him halfways and trim the "bush" :)

Is he clean shaven below? ( not that it really matters) Some people don't like to give oral but enjoy recieving. If he satisfy you in other ways I don;t see a big problem, however if would suggest that if he wants to continue to get head himself that he return the favor.

In my own honest and personal opinion there is nothing worse then pubic hairs in the throat or mouth, but it hasn't stopped me from giving a BJ.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009):

I'm completely on your side. I can't see his point at all. No way can you receive all the time without giving.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009):

Well I think you should stop doing it for him for sure! If you keep everything nice and trimmed down there then I think he is just making up excuses because of his past bad experience. He as your partner should want you to be happy, fulfilled, and satisfied! And he isnt pulling his weight in this area! Have you explained to him why you dont like to shave completely? EIther way I think yes stop doing it for him. He cant have his cake and eat it (or not eat it lol) too!

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (2 April 2009):

DoubleM agony auntIn my opinion, oral pleasures should go both ways, so I support your feelings. I think his attitude is way over stated and he possibly is just selfish. All a guy has to do is spread the lips (labia) with his fingers and trimmed pubes are not a problem. So . . . no lick, no suck is only fair.

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