A
male
age
36-40,
*ubblycosmo
writes:Hey everyone. I just got out of a 1 year relationship and I have never been so hurt before in my life. To cut things short i met this girl over in canada online, we fell for eachother and she ended moving to sydney to live with me for a while. Things were not always peachy but at the end of the day we were still madly crazy in love. We were about to get engaged, plan our future together and even talk about having kids. we were that in love!..think the notebook the movie x100. She ended up missing her mum and had to go back to canada. Plus I lost my job so I couldnt support her. I was supposed to move to canada 3 months later but things got delayed because I was without a job. So we had to have a long distance relationship until i could get enough money to move and be with her. I was willing to sacrifice everything!. long distant relationship is hard, so we had some arguments and insecurities along the way and later on down the track we started to argue more and more. She would start to act distant and not show me much affection anymore. She had her days though. I ended up asking her if she still wants to be with me and she said she doesnt know if she can handle a long distant relationship anymore but she still loves me. she said she was confused but she wants to havea break and sort her life out before she can commit to anyone. I was incredibly hurt, so much so I couldnt eat for a week, and it was a chore to get out of bed in the morning. we were supposed to be commited to eachother :(. I would always call her up crying like a baby because she hurt me and all she could ever come back with is " Im sorry ok, I dont know what I want but I love you, and I hope you dont look at other girls ". Its as if she wanted to have me there on the side and have her options open..i dunno. I would sign into msn at night and she would quicky sign in and ask me if im talking to any girls and she would be insecure..even tho we are friends?. This would go on for 3 months, I would hurt so much because this girl tells me she Loves me but still doesnt know if she wants to be with me. One day I woke up to my self and I wanted to get on with my life because if this girl really loved me she would want to be with me. So i tried to do my best and find someone else, even to start off with as friends. My ex called me one day asking for money and I told her that Im moving on with someone and she completely lost it. her exact words were" I cant believe you are moving on so quick, You lied to me you said you couldn't move on because you still hurt over me, how dare you. I have lost all trust in you and all respect. Have you been in her pants yet? have you kissed her? touched her? promise me you haven't! Promise me on your grandmothers grave! do you call her princess do you call her spunky??, you never Loved me, I said that I needed time to my self not that I didnt want to be with you again, I give it a month before your fucking her, your just like every other guy, pfft so much for Loving me your not even willing to fight for me "this was 5 days ago. She has so much resentment towards me and said she could never trust me again and that I treated her like a piece of garbage. was I in the wrong? I felt like my feelings were played with.thank you for reading
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engaged, ex called, grandmother, her ex, I love you, insecure, long distance, money, move on, msn, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Hey hun,
I think it is best if you go your own ways. Mainly because she obviously suffers from such low self esteem and insecurity that she has resorted to black mailing you to keep herself happy.
It is selfish of her to suddenly disappear back home without discussing it with you properly first and then start giving you a hard time about who you speak too and hang out with ect.
Doesn't sound to me like you have EVER given her any reason to not trust you and you sound like an amazing guy. So I would get rid.
I too suffer from insecurity so have been in her shoes blackmailing boyfriends- not good and im ashamed to admit it! I also have had severe depression while in a relationship- for my last boyfriend it was to much for him to handle which is fair enough. However, I am currently with a great guy I love to pieces, I trust him and would never hurt him with horrid words and accusations like your ex has you.
Don't play into her games and find a mature, loving, trustworthy girl (closer to home). :D
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Man I know exactly how you feel. To try so hard and not get the little respect and treatment you wanted. And you wanted everything with this girl and she was playing the fool. And you believed in yourself and in her and in the relationship. And she treated you so bad yet YOU STILL want to be with her...I understand it.
Well its your turn. Go tell her one more time how u feel, and just get a straight answer out of her! If you can't get that then screw her. Forget her, and move on. I know how it feels to have that resentment thrown back because I also believe SHE screwed up in way more ways than one. DON'T LOOK BACK. And don't hurt anymore! Listen to that inner voice inside you that you have been blocking, the voice that gave you doubt and better judgment. Regret it, learn from it, but do what YOU need to do to get better. You are strong man, I promise you in time it will not hurt so much.
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A
male
reader, bubblycosmo +, writes (2 April 2009):
bubblycosmo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea thanks man it is hard though I dont think I should wait for her. If she really loved me and was commited to me she would still be by my side till the very end. Thats Love. Not be with me when its convient for her. I still hurt so much but I know one day I will find someone that will respect me and Love me. I know I made mistakes in the last relationship, i had an emotional break down and depression, I just wish she helpd me through it. Oh well
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A
male
reader, bubblycosmo +, writes (2 April 2009):
bubblycosmo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you heapsWhy does it hurt so much :(She made it out like I was the one that pushed her away with insecurities. Even tho she was just as insecure. I wanted to make it work, I know I could of. I was willing to overlook all her flaws, because thats what Love is. She made me feel so bad, as if everything was my fault sigh.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): No you werent wrong at all. It sounds to me like maybe she had a guilty conscience and was turning the tables on you! You did everything you could do to make this work with this girl and she just wasnt having it until it was convenient for her! She probably has the resentment because she realizes that SHE screwed up and lost the best thing to happen to her. I say move on with that other girl and dont look back! You deserve someone who will respect you and treat you right. Best of luck to you...
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