A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex where together for 7 years..In those years I helped him raise his daughter whom I learn to love like my own. We broke up 5 month ago (I cheated)...I still love him and I am very regretful of what i did but he wont take me back...I still have most of my belongings at his place and he says he will not give any closure until I cut all connection with his daughter. I don't contact the kid but she text me and calls me once in a while.. I tried to please him once and the little girl called crying back to me... and now I refuse to do this again..So my question is.. Im I handling this the right way? or I should give in and stop talking to his daughter... and hope for one last conversation where I can let him know how sorry I am (again) and how much I still love him, and his daughter?Thanks ahead!!
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 You don't mention how old the daughter is. What I would do is the next time she calls, let her know you can't talk anymore. That you and her dad had some problems and you need to let things calm down and not talk for awhile but hopefully things will get better later. Apologize and say it is not her dad's fault, you messed up and he's unhappy with you and wants you away now. I don't think it'd be right to talk to her anyway despite how he feels. He is her father and you don't want to come between them. Hopefully he will come around eventually and atleast allow the 2 of you to converse. But for now respect his wishes and give him and yourself closure.
A
female
reader, Misssy2 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 He is really angry with you and NOT thinking rationally. It is not fair for him to punish his daughter for what your choices. Just because something was amiss between you and he....leading to you cheating....does not mean that you LOVE his daughter any less or she should love you any less. I am wondering how old his daughter is and how far away she is from making her own choices? I would explain to him when he has calmed down that you understand that you have hurt him...but it is not fair to his daughter to use her as a pawn to get back at you. He is hurting his daughter. I would text her and tell her that you will be there for her when she feels comfortable about contacting you. And that for now you will not iniate conversation with her because her DAD is very mad at you and you don't want to put her in the middle. Tell her you will ALWAYS be there for her if she needs you and apologize to her for causing this riff between yourself and her father.
Then you will know when she texts you that she is doing the initiating and therefore has braced herself for any conversation she would have to have with her father about it. I wouldn't be the INITIATOR except for the 1 text to tell her that for her sake it is best if she texts you when she feels comfortable.
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