A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, my husband never apologizes to me, even if its clear he is wrong and he is always blaming me for everything that goes wrong in the relationship.He always finds a way to make me feel i am to blame. I do apologize to him whenever i am at fault and even for his own fault at times, but i really need him to also acknowledge if he has hurt me so that i dont feel taken advantage of.I feel so confused and my self esteem has gone down to zero. i am afraid to engage him in a conversation because he always ends up shouting at me and hurting me more. what should i do? I still want the marriage, but it just irritates me that he wont admit where he is wrong.is this normal?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): Sorry, you are feeling this way. I sometimes wonder the same with my husband. It is sick that I have to feel like his equal as far as earning potential/career status so that when he fault finds/criticizes I have leverage. This does help--esteem wise-- but wears at me too especially after a long day at work. Best advise I guess is to do things to make you feel better--learn a sport, exercise, lift weights. You control your self-esteem then you can evaluate whether your he is good/not good for you. I think once men like this realize that they can not control/dominate you--their game is over. Now, you have the control. . .Good Luck! I am sorting things out myself--I think!?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2012): This kind of behaviour destroys relationships,my ex was exactly the same never wrong always my fault even had me apologysing to him for things that he had done wrong he took away everything i was as a person and dumped me i hit rock bottom for a time but i met a wonderful man who put up with me who was there for me and waited for me to rebuild my life so we could be together as a couple and now i am so happy
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A
female
reader, crummyscreenname  +, writes (20 February 2012):
he has no right to shout at you, ever, unless you are too far aaway to talk to or are in danger. i can't tell you how to deal with your particular husband re. whether to talk to him about it or how to approach the subject, but i can tell you that verbal abuse often leads to physical abuse. if this relationship makes you unhappy and you cant get him to treat you better, you may need to leave him.
oh, and some food for thought- remember that you have to be nice to him too. but DONT be a doormat.
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