A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Help...Well me and boyfriend have been together about seven months.Everything has been great..Well I THOUGHT.He lives with me and I am a single mom of four and was in a bad marriage for 8 years and didnt won't to have sex and didnt for 2 years then I MET I thought the guy of my dreams.Hes very quit and shy..but I can't keep my hands off him after 2 months we were having sex twice are three times a week then he made comments about he could'nt handle me like I WAS WANTING TO HAVE SEX TOO MUCH SO I backed off then if was once a week if I started it and then I felt I WAS THE ONE DOING EVERYTHING so now it may be once evry two weeks if I start it and I have seen were he gets on computer when I'M asleep laying right next to him watching porn I have said something to him and he said he doesnt NO WELL he does'nt have a problem cause he gets off watching porn or live girls so I JUST DON'T NO WHAT TO DO ADVICE PLEASE
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): Oh hey, look, it's what guys go though every other relationship, minus the porn probably. Perhaps you're simply not compatible with him.
A
male
reader, Cupid Boy +, writes (3 October 2010):
If he's very shy and quiet, he can't have been very popular with girls. Maybe he was alone a long time and watching pornos was the only way he could have any sex life at all. Maybe watching it in bed has become part of his lifestyle and he didn't think to change it when you came along.
Don't forget, having sex with a real woman isn't pure enjoyment for guys, it's a lot of pressure on them to work and perform. He may not be avoiding sex with you so much as avoiding the stress of sex in general.
If you find it disrespectful of him to watch it beside you, let him know that. If you think your relationship would be improved if he watched less, let him know that too. But since you may be dealing with long-term habits, don't expect dramatic change overnight.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (3 October 2010):
You've not known him very long. Is this what his normal life style has consisted of before you came along?. I'ts still early days in a relationship and you are still getting to know him. If you can see this going long term and there's anything at all that you are not happy about then you must tackle each issue as it comes along. The other thing you could do is make light of it and say 'Hey, when you are watching this why don't you wake me up so that I can watch it with you?' That way he may lose interest in the fact that he is trying to do it in secret. Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (3 October 2010):
You're upset because your boyfriend watches pornography while you're right next to him?Maybe you should tell him to stop doing it because it's making you feel uncomfortable (which is fair enough). Then suggest that he finds some other interests.He needs to learn some respect. Enjoy the day madam. And God bless.
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