A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have a major concern about my boyfriend...We have been together for almost 9months now and things have been okay until I noticed he likes to look up porn daily. Truthfully I watch porn but not before I decide to go to bed with him. I think Porn is a natural curiousity for men and women, that, I don't have a problem with. It's the fact he watches it without me, lies to me about watching it, won't try to be intimate over the phone together, and has denied me when I come on to him. Also, lately all he wants to do is drink with me and then I might get lucky. But he's wasted by then. And, he has even stopped during the act a few times and said it was because of a face I made, or that I didn't seem into it! I don't get it? It hurts so much and don't know what to think. I never had a high sex drive until with him. We were having sex literally every day for like a month, then 4 times a week to.....maybe 2x a month. I've talked about it with him and he has said that his sex drive isnt the same, or that he's tired, or that his stomach is upset. It's hard to believe when it seems he watches porn every day. I'm a goodlooking women, I have big breasts which he say's he loves....so, shouldn't that be enough to turn him on? I'm very frustrated and hurt. I don't know what to think. Any words?
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breasts, porn, sex drive Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice. It's hard to accept the possibly that he probably doesn't want "us" anymore. It's not an easy decision. I appreciate both of your responses. Thank You.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Yeah, if I were you, I'd reconsider this relationship. You probably do love him, but sometimes, that's not enough to stay. Does he show you in other, non sexual ways, that he loves you? Does he care about you? If he does, then maybe you should have a long talk with him about why he does this, even consider couples therapy. It's not normal that he prefers porn over his girlfriend.
If he's self centered and selfish, doesn't feel there's a problem and doesn't wanna change, then I'd say it's time to move on. If he cares about you, and seems concerned about the problem, wishes to change, but can't do it on his own, then maybe you can stay and support him. It sounds like porn addiction rather than normal porn use.
In the end, it's up to you, you have to do what makes you happy. Take care!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Hon, ask yourself, do you really love this man? If the answer is yes, then does he love you? The reason he won't have sex with you might be because he simply doesn't love you anymore. He watches porn everyday, and most men do. But if he would stop watching porn maybe he would see that you are a living person, in his room, that wants to have sex with him! I wish you the best of puck on your relationship.
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