A
female
age
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*ee980
writes:i have been in a relationship for almost 2 years and getting more and more frustrated with our sexual relationship. we have not had sexual intercourse for the past year. he blames it on his high blood pressure pills. i know he watches porn at least once a week in the mornings after i go to work. i feel less attractive and i feel that he doesn't want to have sex with me any longer. he did go to the doctor about 6 months ago and got some viagra, but hasn't tried this yet. he doesn't know that i know that he watches porn, he does this behind my back. i've tried talking to him about my frustrations and he states that he will get better. what am i to do???
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female
reader, Miami Girl +, writes (19 August 2009):
I had the same problem with my husband. I always checked the History and also the sites visited. There are 3 ways to find the exact links on the computer by day and time. I can teach you. Most likely he is doing it more than you think. One day, I clicked on the exact link he used earlier and set it up as the main wall page on our internet when it opened. I laughed so much that day alone. He friked out when he saw that I opened the internet and saw that page he was using prior. I am sure He thought he pressed the wrong key and it stayed as the main site. I asked him as, what is this and why is this there? Never imagined I had prepared it all. One day I told him that the computer had gotten 16 viruses of a site called (?) the specific site he visited. He was in shock. Do these tricks and look inocent. That way it does not look, like you are spying on him. Last, I would get every single porno link and added them to the Security area and therefore, he will not be able to download videos from there. My computer tech guy installed a very good fire wall and now on all the sites he used to visit, no free videos can be downloaded, because now are are part of the list of restricted sites. And I laugh because I am sure he has no idea why he cant download the porn any more. Be discrete and start adding the sites every day as he visits them. Make sure you delete all history after you visit them as well in case he is computer savy. The least porn he watches, the more opportunity you have to have sex. If this does not work, get another man. You deserve to have fun as well. But you will have fun playing these secret games on the computer for him. I did.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 August 2009):
 Unfortunately, this is unlikely to get better because he may have become addicted to pornography. It is possible that only a major shake up in the relationship can lead to resolution. It can be true that blood pressure medication causes erectile dysfunction, notably beta blockers like Atenolol, but there are alternative meds.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): You are in a sexless relationship. Yes, high blood pressure medicine can effect his performance. Having Viagra and not using it? It seems he doesn't want to have sex with you. That said, do not blame yourself or think it is because he does not find you attractive.
I think you might want to try some therapy, sometimes this non sexual interaction can become a habit or a problem due to the added stress of feeling like he is letting you down.
I don't think you should stand for it, however, I think you need to get to the bottom of the problem.
I don't think this is the proper forum for you, I think it is time to get help from professional therapists and or doctors.
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A
female
reader, xorobynxo  +, writes (19 August 2009):
wow, this sounds like my situation.... only its only been about 6 months for me.... same thing though, he does it when I go to work, and just tells me he's tired all the time...then waits till after I go to bed and watches it. just talk to him, and if he doesn't change, call him out on it. let him know that you know, and if he still denies it or doesn't change, then, maybe its time to have a break. that's what I'm doing, and it seemed to help a little...\anyway good luck.
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