A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I’m in a 5 year relationship I am in a very awkward situation I don’t want sex with my partner anymore over this past year I found out he watches porn before we have sex he’s been sleeping in the spare room for 9 months and I don’t know why he just decided one night that’s where he would sleep there was no arguing or any issues about sharing a bed he’s always staring at women in front of me I don’t mind him watching porn but it’s the fact that he obviously doesn’t find me attractive enough to turn him on so he watches porn before hand which has hurt me when he does try to initiate sex I feel guilty for turning him down but I just can’t do it anymore I don’t feel attractive enough for him any advice what to do in this situation thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2018): Everything indicates this relationship is going nowhere, I fail to see how it can be salvaged. You don't communicate because if you did you would know why he just upped and left to the spare room, how has that not been discussed? Do you just not care or don't feel you could ever find out why?He openly stares at other women, openly watches porn and when he is turned on and has no other option he what looks your way? Well at least you say no, kudos to you on that score.Why are you even with him still, I use the with him lightly, this is NOT a relationship in any sense of the word, there simply isn't anything there, no real love, no connection, no communication and no trust, so what is left exactly to keep you there? If you honestly want to try and make this work, the only thing you can do is communicate with him and see what he wants. If for some strange reason you both find you want to work at it, you need to communicate, he needs to stop watching porn and you do what couple do and date, talk, find ways to be happy together again. Lastly you are 30-35 not 70-75, if he doesn't male you happy, leave, you are too young to be with someone who treats you like this and sorry but he doesn't seem happy either, who knows why, only you two know!!
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (19 November 2018):
 I think that things need to be sorted out now rather than later, the longer that you leave it the harder it will become.
This relationship is not going anywhere, and unless he makes some rather drastic changes, which i don't think he is any time soon, i would be contemplating moving on.
I mean, he is currently just a room mate, your in one room, him in another room, i fail to see how things can possible get any better.
You have to be strong on this and leave this relationship. A bit further down the line you will be glad you did. And when you are ready to do so, you will find someone that gives you the love, and attention that you so rightly deserve. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 November 2018):
 So he is what? Your room mate you occasionally used to have sex with?
OP, your relationship is DEAD. You both know it and BOTH ignore it.
So either you grab the bull by the horn and HAVE that AWKWARD talk about how him having to watch porn in order to have sex with you is hurtful and not helping the relationship...
OR you accept the relationship IS dead and you two need to end it and move on.
You have a shitty sex life because you two can't talk about it and neither wants to do the extra work to MAKE it work. THAT is how you can tell this relationship is stone cold dead.
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