A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am distraught, I've never been comfortable with porn watching in a relationship, but I've come to accept that the women that my boyfriend has looked at in the past are women he doesn't know, and would never meet in his lifetime. So I managed to not feel too bad about that, and let things go.Yesterday, me and my boyfriend were out, and we were at a pub with his friends. They were talking about a friend of theres that I do not know. My boyfriend then told me he'd just heard that this friend of his was dating a very famous celebrity (I won't name because I don't want to reveal any people here) I asked who she was and if I'd ever met her before, and he said no. He told me she was a model and had moved to London a year ago. They were talking of this model friend for a while. Later that night, I went home, and I was on facebook. You know the way facebook recomends you to check out pages of 'people you may know' like suggesting friends sort of thing.. Well I noticed the girls name, the name of the model friend they'd been talking about, so I clikcked on her page. I recognized her, assuming I just recognised her from the fact that she was a model and I'd probably seen her in fashion magazines or something. It was only a few minites later that I twigged onto where I recognized her from, and my heart raced. I remember a while ago I saw a pornographic film in his bedroom, and at the time, I was having a lot of trouble dealing with his porn use. I popped it on out of curiosity when he wasn't there and tried to see if I could get into it, so then maybe I could try watching stuff with him. After a while of it, I couldn't get into it, I felt more uncomfortable than aroused watching it so I switched it off.This film had this so called 'model' friend of his in it. I googled her, and saw that she's been in several films, and all of the films she'd been in have been of a pornagraphic nature, and some of them actually porn. I felt sick to the stomach and feel somewhat cheated on. I feel it's one thing to watch porn, but it's majorly crossing the line to watch a porn movie that features your friend, someone you know and see, naked and masterbating and performing oral sex in a film. I don't know how to bring this up with him, I've been crying and disstressed for the whole day just thinking of it. I'm so angry at him, he obviously has no idea that I know his model friend is infact a pornstar, and I'm disgusted that he'd do this and keep this from me. What do I do? I have no idea what to say to him about it and I feel too upset to even see him. Has anyone else ever been in a similar position? Any advice would be apreciated, thanks in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the responce, I'm glad it's not just me that thinks it's wrong, I'm going to try and approach it with him tonight, I will keep informed how it goes :s
A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (20 August 2011):
His head is not with you. I am sorry to say, porn alone can ruin your relationship. Without moralizing about it, you can just call it bad because it is something he does that bothers you.This has been taken to a whole new level. This is not just a sexual addiction. This is personal.Run now while you can. Want to know how to bring it up to him? Here are few suggestions:"I want you out of my life you pervert""Why don't you just go f##k the slut if you have not already?"Anyway, people need to have the same values as their partner, or it just does not fly.Sometimes I think that what is acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship should be discussed on the very first date.I really feel for you.
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