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female
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*LEONORA
writes: This question is related to a previous question I have posted on the site for I definitely need some more help!I was with someone as friends for a year and after the year we began a relationship for 10 months.During all this time I was loyal and faithful to him cause I loved him but I suspect that recently he has found someone else,for he is changed towards me and that he is cheating on me as well.After this ``discovery`` I was extremely shocked and devastated and I was crying all the time because I trusted him and never expected that he would do such a thing to me.Also, I should add that he was still coming to me while he may have been with the other woman as well.Moreover, after the discovery I made a huge mistake for I got drunk and made love with him without him wearing a condom.Now I worry about my health too for I don`t know what exactly he was doing behind my back and for how long before me realizing it!So I have two big problems right now:the one is that I haven`t yet gotten over him(we are totally apart only five days)and the other is that I worry about my health too.I`m going through a living hell.I`m shocked and panicked.please help.
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female
reader, ELEONORA +, writes (25 June 2006):
ELEONORA is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would like to thank Dr Psych and Wendyg for their help as the two problems which I`m now facing are concerned.
Thank you very much-I really appreciate it-ELEONORA.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (25 June 2006):
 I am glad you see sleeping with him as a big mistake - but we all make mistakes so don't feel so bad! Time will heal what he has done, as well as separation from him. You cannot control your emotions in such a way as to switch off just like that. Neither should you try to...getting over a relationship is important as you learn a lot about yourself, and it makes you wiser in choosing future partners. As for the second issue, well there is a LOT you can do about that. March yourself down to the local family planning clinic and get tested for everything from pregnancy to STD's. If all that is negative, take yourself back to the clinic in about 3 months time and have tests repeated including HPV (genital warts virus) (or earlier if you get any symptoms). Some STD's take a while to show up in your blood. Basically if the rat was cheating with one person, then he could have been sleeping with several people...who knows? Be thankful that you found out now rather than it dragging on for years with you wasting your life with someone undeserving. Hope you feel better soon!
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (25 June 2006):
 I think you know in your heart that he was a cheat and thats something he sounds as though he will always be. As for getting over him, just think you had a lucky escape! Hes not been fair with you, almost treating you like someone to come to for sex and a bit in between when someone else isnt around, hes treated you like dirt, so getting over him shouldnt be that hard, just think hes a cheat a liar and he was never going to commit and someone out there will and will be more caringhave more time for you, and want a proper relationship with you. You dont need him, you think you do but you dont, a relationship is about commitment both ways and being faithful to their partner he couldnt offer any of those and you know you cant trust him, so you are better off without him. As for being worried about your health, you will need to pop along to your local GUM clinic or GP depends where you are and you can get a serious of tests done that can check to see of you have caught anything. You may have contracted an STI or STD but most can be easily treated, If you are worried about AIDS this I believe can now be tested pretty quick some places within 48 hours, but im not 100% on the facts, in that not sure what period after unprotected sex is best to test for it, but as much as we should never take the risk with having unprotected sex, it is actually more likely that you would have caught an sti rather than that, but it wont hurt to get tested if you are worried. Also make sure that your not pregnant, if you are also worried about that two. Hopefully everything will be okay, try not to worry about your health to much, yes its your health, but stressing over it will make you worse, try to relax a little get tested and with a bit of luck you will be okay. And then you can concentrate in getting over this cheater as he caused you so much worry and pain, no one is worth that.
Take care and good luck x
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