A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. about 6 months ago he sat me down and we had a discussion about how our sex life was unsatisfying to him. he told me that he wasnt questioning our relasionship he just wanted to improve our sex life becuse it had began to boar him. i took his needs into consideration and began doing my part to help our problem. i looked up new posisions, began doing things that were ment to incress my sex drive and even took some pole dancing classes. we are young (20's) and i agree that we should have a great sex life. but my problem is that now im the one who is unsatified. he more sits back and lets me take controle now which is ok but not all of the time. and he is coming sooner now and this leaves me dissapointed. i just dont know what to do. im not sure if i should talk to him or not. i dont want him to feel like im not satified with our relasionship. can anyone give me some advice?
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (8 September 2009):
 Try taking your time together. Its not a race to the finish.
Have you two considered just holding each other gently and looking into each others' eyes for a while. Kissing and petting and taking your time first? Then move to a little foreplay?
If you take your time and make it slow and easy, then you can build up your arousal and he can hold back a little bit and try and work on you.
The thing about it is people forget its not JUST sex. Its making love together. The more emotionally connected and intimate you are with each other, the more your bodies will respond positively and pleasurably.
The other thing is have you ever tried exploring more than just different positions. I mean your skin is a sex organ too. There are parts all over your bodies besides your sex glands that respond to intimacy and touch.
One thing you can do is take some tantric sex lessons. There are schools that specialize in teaching tantra, and they actually show you how to relax and enjoy the entire sensual experience rather than the FINAL ACT.
If you want to turn what was simply doing it different styles into taking your time and enjoying sexual intimacy for hours, that's one way to learn. Its very satisfying.
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