A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A little over a month ago, I had posted a question about my boyfriend's difficulty with getting and staying hard during sex. Here's a link to the question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-help-him-no-matter-what.html I don't even know where to start with this question. The first time we had sex, things were great after one or two failed attempts, and I mean GREAT. I've never been able to orgasm during sex with a guy until him, so that should explain what I mean by great. So to go from that to not being able to have sex was a little confusing. The second time (which is when I posted the linked question above) was a disaster and I chalked it up to stress and him being tired. So the next time he came to visit which was just last week, I tried to make sure he knew there was no pressure. He still initiated sex and again, failed.That night, I wanted to talk to him about what was going on because at that point, I felt maybe I was the problem, not him. He felt guilty and ended up telling me that the first time we had sex, he had felt so pressured to prove himself to me that he used Viagra and that's why the sex was so great. I had no idea how to react to something like that. I didn't know if I should be hurt, angry, ignore it, or what. So I just told him it was fine and he kept telling me that it wasn't and that I shouldn't be so understanding. Thing is, after we had that conversation, the sex was great again. I feel like him keeping the Viagra thing from me is part of what was stressing him to the point where he couldn't perform and once he told me, he was perfectly fine. Or maybe he just took Viagra again? What do you guys think?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 If he needs to take Viagra why can't he just tell you about it? I understand he is embarrassed and ashamed, but like you said, maybe he stresses out so much by keeping the viagra a secret from you that he wont function at all. Clearly it can not be a good thing that he feels the need to hide this from you. Maybe ask him up front if he is still using viagra or not, and that you have no judgement, just want him to be honest with you.
If it is so that he needs to use viagra, try and read up on it and check out side-effects and possible long-term effects. Maybe he should also talk to his doctor about this. Im not sure how healthy it is to take lots of viagra...
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Maybe he took more, or maybe he was feeling like he didn't have a chance of pleasuring you without it. After talking about it the stress was relieved and he could just be himself.
To me it sounds like he was putting a trememdous pressure on himself to perform and that was hindering his performance. Having some of that stress gone might have been just what he needed.
Always remember, sex should be fun and a way to make you closer to eachother. I think that if you can help him get past his stresses with regard to sex, then you two will have a great sex life.
And if that doesn't work, then at least you know viagra does. :-P
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 It could be hes used it again, or it could be he is feeling less under pressure to perform so its happening naturally.
If he is using viagra then you may notice his nose seems blocked one day and not the next. It doesnt affect every man like this but it can be one of the more common side effects.
Viagra can last upto 12 hours.
If he is using it and its helping your sex life then whats the problem?
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