A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! I hope someone can help me with this problem. I just can't seem to get over my ex even though we split two years ago. I know I should be over him by now and all my friends tell me this. I find myself thinkIng about him all the time. He was a pig when we split, and had lied to me throughout our relationship, telling me he was serious about me when he wasn't (made a big thing of waiting until he was sure about 'us' before I met his son, then dumped me a month after I met his son). After we split, he was nasty, calling me names and telling people I was stalking him (I did text him a couple of times to get closure, which I never got). I don't get why I should still feel this way.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 September 2009):
You cared for him, that's why. The best thing to do is to be brave and go out and socialize. Whether that's going out and dancing or just for a drink or anything where you will be around other people and men. You'll see that there are a lot of better men out there than your poor excuse of an ex, and when you see them, you'll start to get over your ex. You deserve better than him, so go adn find someone better. Good luck, xx
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (21 September 2009):
 I am really sorry that you are feeling this way. Closure takes different times for everyone. A doctor told me 18 months to 2 years was about average in s serious relationship. I have found that until you meet someone else that you do think about your ex all the time. I think it is worse if the person was a pig too as you cannot understand that and try to justify things / go over things all the time. For women, not receiving closure is extremely difficult to deal with as I have found that we do not deal with uncertainty very well. I missed my ex deeply for about three years until i could honestly cope with not being part of a couple and could go shopping in Richmond looking at these happy couples without resentment and jealousy. As soon as I accepted that it was my lot in life to be on my own and to get on with it and make the most of it then I seemed to not want to hang onto him so much. Even now things will trigger memories but i am not constantly thinking of him or going round and round in my mind about him and what was /what might have been.
I think you are not necessarily grieving for him but for the investment you made in the relationship and what you hoped you would get from it like maybe children, security etc. I can assure you at 35 that you are still veru young, can still have kids and meet someone new to have them with and fall in love all over again. It is all a matter of time and controlling your emotions. Try thinking and grieving for him less each day - when you think of him put the thought out of your mind immediately and concentrate of some area of your life that you enjoy. It will all come good again with someone new, I promise you.
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