A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This isn't exactly a relationship question...I moved to a new city a few months ago, and one of the first people I met was a guy who also just moved here and didn't know anyone. So we sort of became friends by default, though he likes me and has asked me out quite a few times and I've told him I only see him as a friend. Before moving here, his girlfriend of 5 years broke up with him and I think he has some issues from that, which is why he drinks a lot anytime we go out at night. When he drinks, he'll try to touch me all over and it's really hard to push him off. He also gets overly friendly with complete strangers and a few times I've had to drag him to a different pub because of strong looking guys whispering mutinously about him after he's been annoying them. I've tried a lot of things to get him to drink less, but he always gets more alcohol anyway. So basically I've stopped going to places at night with him and I think he feels a bit hurt at not being included with my other new friends anymore. I feel really awkward when he asks what I did on the weekend. What do you think I should do about this?
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female
reader, Renee okc  +, writes (24 July 2009):
you need to sit down and have a talk with him and tell him about his behavior he maybe thinking of all the drama as having a good time, when in fact he is ruining your good time. Honey he can't fix the problem if he doesn't know what it is so you need to be a friend and tell what people really see. He maybe thinking that you just found new friends and left him behind and you don't want him to feel like that at all. So be honest and reinforce that you do not have any romantic feeling for him and you especially don't appreciate being fondled by him and to keep his hands to himself.
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (24 July 2009):
Got an Al-anon meeting, and her from some women what's it's like to live with a drunk. Actually, they offer some really great tools for you to learn to stop worrying about friends who drink too much, and can assist you in learning about boundarys and how to be healthy while still in a relationship (of any kind) with someone with a drink problem.
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