A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok so here's the problem: 7 years ago I met my dream guy, as close to perfect as a man gets...only thing is, I wasn't ready at the time. He tried to help me get into college...he was always there for me, we talked for hours, he was just amazing, but he lived 2 states away and it got a little difficult so I started dating someone else and I stopped taking his calls.Throughout the years I have thought about him constantly but have been too afraid to contact him because I thought he would be upset with me. For some reason a couple weeks ago I had a dream about him and his number showed up on my caller ID, and lo and behold it was the same number from 7 years ago. He was amazed to hear from me, he felt like it was fate.We've talked on the phone, e-mailed, exchanged current pictures, everything. He even told me he tried to find me for a few years and gave up after a while, met someone else and got married two years ago. While we were on the phone he kept saying he was trying to figure out what this means. I don't know what to do at all. I can't stop thinking about him and I feel like he's the one I'm supposed to be with...and it sounds like he feels the same way but he's married! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, holikdad +, writes (8 June 2009):
Stop it now. If I was there I'd have to smack you on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and say "Bad Other Woman, Bad!!". Don't be the OW, and don't screw up someone elses happy marriage. He is probably having a low time in his marriage, it happens to EVERYONE. So he reached out to you, just don't reach back. Tell him that you want him to be happy with his current marriage and never speak to him again. If he tries to contact you, ignore him. If his marriage is crap then he needs to be a man and go to his wife and tell her that he is filing for divorce. If he gets divorced then get back together with him, but not before. At least if you take that road you'll know that the guy your with is not a cheater. And BTW he'll still be a cheater even if it was you he cheated with. So hold your head up and take the high and more morally correct road.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): I have been in several situations like yours...three to be exact. The circumstances were different but the fact that it could never be more than friends remained.
I remained friends with two of them for several years...until I remarried and we lost contact. But I can tell you from my experience, that thier friendship meant more to me than anything. Who knows what would've happened if I had gotten into long term relationships with these men. I will never know, but the one thing I do know is that they were true friends, and I don't regret it for a second!
The decision is yours, and if you feel that friendship isn't enough, then tell him so and end it before it begins!
I wish you luck!
Britt
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you...its sad cause it is so bittersweet..I think I just need to email him back and tell him its best that we don't talk.anymore. He wants to plan for us to see eachother and keeps asking me for pictures,and I don't understand why he's doing that if he's married. He's really special to me so I would like to be his friend,but like you said ill always want something more..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): It sounds to me like you missed your window of opportunity by about two years! I hate when that happens!
There's nothing wrong with keeping in touch with him (in my opinion, anyway) But he's married. Keep your distance and don't try to turn it into something it's not!
If you can accept his friendship, and be satisfied with nothing more, then, be his friend. But if you are hoping for more...I suggest you move on and find someone who is available!
Good Luck
Britt
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