A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know it this has been discussed before but if anyone can help.I am on vacation right now with my family and recently, my boyfriend revealed to me that he has been tested and found out with gonorrhea. I was very furious, I had been just out of his sight for 15 days and suddenly he has this STD. He swore to me he did not touch anyone other than me and that i was for sure the last person he had slept with. I am so scared he got this from someone before me and might have infected me as well. Within that week, I went to the clinic, the one with the latest lab equipment and got myself tested of all STDs and HIV. I got the result the next day and all was negative. My bf then told me the next day that the doctor had mistakenly diagnosed him but he is still suffering and they can't pin point what was wrong with him. I cannot believe how stupid these doctors are. But his symptoms are exactly like the STD that he was first diagnosed with.So my question then is, given that he has STD and we already had sex just 15 days before he was diagnosed, shouldn't I have it too? I am trying to find answers on the net but I can't. I have already consulted my ob-gyne and she said I don't have it based on the results. She said if I was infected, I should show the same symptoms like him at the same time. But i did not and to rule it out further, we still had the test and I am all negative.My boyfriend swears to his grave I was the last and only girl he had sex with.Can anyone help me pls? Do you think my bf is hiding something just to pacify me?
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (4 September 2010):
 When he found out your results that you didnt have it, then he backtracked about it been that. Go to his docs with him and you will find the truth.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much guys for the insights, I really do appreciate it. It was very informative and helped me understand things more clearly.
Thank you Q1605 for the educational info with humor, also Nightingale and Jkirk. It's funny but I am back in town and have refused to see my bf. According to him, he is clear now and has taken a different set of meds after seeing another doctor who diagnosed him of prostate infection. Needless to say, I still doubt him.
I do want to ask for his lab results to be sure he's not lying but I feel I might offend him. He asked to see me today but I said I am not feeling well. LOL I think our relationship is doomed now. TBH, I don't care as much now as i used to. This issue got me really turned off.
Thanks everyone!
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A
male
reader, jkirk  +, writes (28 August 2010):
A lab CAN and DO make mistakes. Many years ago I thought I had gonorrhea and the ONLY person I had been with was my fiance. I went to the Dr. and they say Yes you have gonorrhea. Needless to say the fur flew when I got back, she swore up and down she had not been with someone else. So she got tested and came up clean. A week later I got a phone call saying we are so sorry it's not gonorrhea, it's just a Urinary Tract Infection (same symptoms). Get him double checked especially since you are clean.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNow, he is telling me after the second test that his disease is prostate infection. Could this be true? But even himself he says he has pain when urinating and there is pus coming out. It seems to me he is making up a story now to cover his STD.
I don't care much now if he cheated, when I go home, I will dump him but now I am trying not to run amok as I want to get as much info as I can. If I start a fight now, I won't know what is real.
Do you recommend me to go for another test like 2 weeks from now?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 August 2010):
 One more thought. You could really crystallize his reaction by telling him your doctor wants to see his lab results.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 August 2010):
I have to say that I think Q has this one pretty well sorted, sorry. http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/gonorrhea The symptoms usually show up in 2 to 10 days. Yes it can go undetected for a longer time, and if you were negative, then well, ahem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): A guy will say and do anything to avoid his GF finding out about another girl. If the guy's got an STD, well chances are he got it from another girl...how else did he get it????? ask your local gp and they will tell you the same thing...and if he didn't get it from a girl how else did he get it??? you don't just get it..
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much guys for the responses.
Last night he told me he will see again his doctor for another test and I can't wait for the results. Anyhow, asymtomatic means without symptoms right? But what about on my case? I had already done all tests not only for gonorrhea but all other STDs and also HIV. I look at my lab results every night wondering if asymptomatic also includes a lab examination result? I want to be clear on this and I am so scared. But I am relieved by Dr. Psyche and xXJDXx post stating that the possibility of me cacthing the infection is not 100%. That's all that matters to me to be honest. That I don't have it.
I appreciate my bf being honest with me that he has this disease and that is why I did nag him or blame him. I am very calm. I care more about how this will affect me health wise. I am very scared as the only time we had an unprotective sex was that last time when I would leave for vacation the next day. (I began taking BC pills)
For now, I don't know if I will ever sleep with him again. I am really turned off by this revelation and think we would be better off as friends.
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A
female
reader, T@mara +, writes (26 August 2010):
I must agree with q1605. I have always thought that I would be sure a boyfriend cheated if I caught him red handed, someone else did and had evidence, or he suddenly caught an std. You should convince him to take you to his next doctor appointment, he should have one if he is still not diagnosed. That way you can be sure that he is not telling you he was misdiagnosed. In the mean time there might be antibiotics he was given to cure an std. If there are and he is still taking them after claiming that he found out he was misdiagnosed that will be a big red flag. To the point of you writing that you were only gone 15 days, please remember that 2 weeks is a long time without sexual activity for a man.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): people can have stds for years and not know because the majority of them show no symtoms.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 August 2010):
 Most STDs are either symptomless or can lie dormant in men for a long time. It doesn't mean he cheated necessarily. That said, why did he go suddenly get tested for an STD? But seeing as he had symptoms, no it's not a guarantee that he cheated. So long as he wasn't a virgin when you met, it could have just been dormant/symptomless until now. If you used condoms, you wouldn't have it. Do you use condoms?
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A
female
reader, xXJDXx +, writes (25 August 2010):
It sounds so suspect.. I don't really see how a doctor could mess up the results.
I would recommend you to go along with him to his doctors at his next appointment, if he refuses you to go then clearly he has something to hide.
If your partner is infected there's only a 60-90% chance you could have been infected also, so the fact your results are clear do NOT neseserely mean that HE is clear.
I would also like you to be aware that he does NOT need to have had sex with another woman to contract this. Gonorrhea can also infect the eyes and if someone where to rub their infected eye shake your mans hand and you man touched his penis infection could have spread.
However I would find this HIGHLY unlikely to be the case.
Hope I have helped in some way, take care and good luck! JD
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): He might be saying the truth that you're the last 'girl' he's had sex with... how about are you the last 'person' he's had sex with?
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (25 August 2010):
 In fairness to your boyfriend, he did confess his medical situation. It must have been a difficult thing for him to do, but he did the right thing. He may have had an STD for a long, long time contracted during a time before he met you. With this condition it is possible to have no symptoms.
It is possible that the doctor did misdiagnose him. Gonorrhea is at the front of diagnostic thinking because public health authorities have identified it as a superbug that is increasingly resistant to antibiotic treatment. The doctor could have just jumped the gun and been a little hasty in the diagnosis while awaiting lab results. Even if he did have that STD, the transmission rate between partners is not 100%. It could be that you just got lucky and dodged the infection. If I were you, I would get checked out for other STD's just to be on the safe side and abstain from unprotected sex with him. I would assume your boyfriend got tested because he had symptoms of some sort. Just because one condition has now been excluded, it doesn't mean that others should be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): The answer to your question all depends on circumstances. If you used protection (condom), than it would be unlikely that you were infected with an STD unless their was fluid exchange. Secondly maybe he thought he had an STD and panicked and told you before he saw the doctor. Lastly, he had an STD that he just discovered, told you about it so you can get treated, discovered you dont have it, and back-tracked so you would not thik he cehated. But if he does have an STD and you do not, than that only means that he had unprotected sex with another women (or person).
You probably need to have a sit down with him and clarify if he has an STD or not for both of your sakes
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