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female
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anonymous
writes: hi,well ive been flirting with this boy i met and he flirts back every time i see him. we went out the other nite and had an amzing night, we were huggng and everything. so all his friends were telling me how much he faniced me and that i should ask him out. so i eventually did ... and he sed he doesnt see me in that way, only as a mate. But his friends (and my friends) wouldnt say he liked me that much 2 me if it wernt true. hes always hugging me and i love it and now im embarised and thigs will be awkward between us. i feel so depressed and just want to shrivle up nd die. I love him and cant stop thinking about me and we all thought he liked me in that way back ... i fell so lonely, i broke up wiv my other boyfriend 2 be with him. but i ddnt like my other boy friend that much so thts not the point. however i do v v v much like my ex's best mate. and he flirts like crazy wiv me! plz help me get over thisxxxxxxxxxp.s i love 2 sing, but now for some reason everything i sing reminds me of *him* and so it makes me sad 2 sing. :(:(:(x plz help xx lonely and unwanted x
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female
reader, vina_101  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 It's not like you can't get another guy right? You're young, you're attractive, you're hot stuff. Quit moping over this one guy. He ain't all that!
Rejection happens, it's part of life but it is certainly NOT the end of it. Everyone gets rejected a couple times in life. I've had my fair share. But I'm still here today to tell the tale and I'm doing great! In time your heart will heal and you'll forget all about this guy. He missed out. His loss, not yours. If you can't stop thinking about him find something that will distract you from him. Spend some time away from him and keep yourself busy.
A
female
reader, mitta +, writes (4 December 2006):
I know how you feel. We think we know what men think but they are far more complicated than we think. First of all i would find out if he's like this with other girls. If he is then it might just be that he has a flirty personality. Maybe he knows that you fancy him and knows he can get attention from you if he wants.
On the other hand he might fancy you. He might be scared about going into a relationship with someone. Sometimes men get scared when they are faced with the prospect of a relationship with someone they really like, because they're scared of being vulnerable and getting hurt. I understand that you feel embarassed and hurt, but he's only a guy. If he was worth your tears you wouldn't be crying right now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Yikes! My spelling is atrocious today! The unrecognizable first statement "Sto that..quit thinking you are unlocable" should really read " Stop that...quit thinking you are unlovable" Sheesh..my apologies.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Sto that..quit thinking you are unlocable because he said no to you. So what..he rejected you. All is not lost. There is no life without pain and we all go through it. It's a path we take to learning more about love, life and loss. This is the price of growth, maturity and a necessary hurt. I am trying to understand why you are embarrassed and depressed hun. Simply over asking a guy out? Sweety, you both flirted with each other, you listened to your friends and you made an 'assumption' that he wanted to date you, too. And I have to give you credit for your courage. You knew that your hopes and fantasies (about him) had no power until you did something about these feelings. Dear, you were a brave soul to express to him that you wanted to date him. You do not have timidity and you had the confidence to do it. Be proud of that. You knew the risk, accept it and move on. Don't allow his rejection, get to you. He was honest and told you he prefers to be just friends. I certainly respect that about him.
So I suggest you carry on and try hard to look at other interests. As I have always said, females tend to make potential relationships their life, their identity. They take the pain of rejection to levels of becoming depressed sad, and insecure. Stop doing that. We can learn from the guys because they simply make relationships and rejections, just a part of their life. They buck up and they carry on. Get out there and have fun with your friends, sweety and keep being just you. And remember a female can have a lot of dimension in her life other than 'love'. And one last word, be freinds with this guy and try to realize " he can't help it, if he doesn't have good taste! :) (heh heh) Take care , hun.
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