A
female
age
41-50,
*heocm
writes:its the same old story of cheating and hurt feelings. my bf is on parole, he cant live with his family due to their abuse of drugs and alcohol, so he has been living with me. i have a history of childhood sexual abuse, so im not fond of love and emotions, but this year i had been making strides and curbing my fears. we arent perfect, but we always talked out arguements, he prefered to spend every minute with me, we dont neglect nething sexually, and i would tell him daily that i loved him and he was beautiful. it was my way of keeping my emotions forward and acknowledging i could be sexual with someone and love/ be loved at the same time.well, the past few months he has been adament that i change my hair, that we get married before the year is up, and has joked about getting me pregnant to keep me. in contrast he leaves the room to talk on the phone, deletes messages, and changed all his passwords on the computer. and i recieved emails from a girl he had been writing who forwarded me all the secret messages he wrote her, telling her she is sexy, wants to meet up, and never once mentioned me, but says that he is bored with life and needs someone special. when i confronted him he ran off angry and cursed me out, then he came back the next day, because he had nowhere else to go. i kicked him out, because it hurts too much, and i found out later that this isnt the first girl he has done 'something' with. he told me i deserved better but he wont leave me alone, and now hes on the run. his parole officer came looking for him. and his parole officer said i didnt make the right descision for him, that i was being selfish and costed him time now.im scared that when he gets caught what will happen to him, and i am hurt and confused by him, but im not ready to talk to him. he doesnt have any close friends, im sure he will contact me again, what should i do? i dont know if i was right? was i taking my issues out on him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): The parole officer is wrong. You are not his family, if you didn't want this man living with you, then you had a right to kick him out. To be honest with you, I think it's best you kicked this man out of your life.
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