A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it ok to be seeing someone but not strictly going out?Ive been seeing a guy for four months, he says he would love to go out with me but as he works late he hasnt time enough to see me as a girlfriend but still wants to see me. Do thse things ever end up in a proper relationship as its gone to the stage now with me where its either all or nothing as i really want to go out with him and feel used by not being his girlfriend? Should i give him a choice? Either we start going out and seeing each other properly or we dont at all? Im confused here.... any help would be great. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bfly36  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 This happened to me for almost the same amount of time with someone. He ended up getting my friend pregnant, and now he has an instant family. He told me he didnt want a relationship, that he was not ready for it, less than 3 weeks later, he slept with my freind and got her pregnant. If a man tell you that he may not be ready or interested enough in a woman to make a commitment. It is up to you to take the risk of getting more involved with him than him with you like it happened to me. You sound like you may not like this arrangement. If you don't, you are better off backing away and dating until you find someone that will want to be a bit more committed to you and you will feel more secure. Most relationships that start out this way do not really end up in anything serious.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (16 June 2008):
It's a tough one. Seeing someone can be great, I was "seeing" my husband for a while because we enjoyed eachothers company and enjoyed going to restaurants.
But I made it clear I wasn't going past hand holding and kissing as long as we weren't going out and he was fine with this. (I was the one who didn't want a relationship at the time but he won me over eventually.)
So it's a gamble, you have to be strong and set boundaries. Do you want to have sex while seeing him or do you want to do that in a relationship? Do you want to take a risk that he'll end up falling for you and being your man, or that you might never see him and he might cut you off at any moment and hurt you.
It all depends on how much strength you think you have about this. if you are really in control of your emotions then go for it, have some fun with him but don't let yourself get your hopes up too much. If you think you might get hurt if you got involved and then he called it off then don't do it, tell him it's girlfriend or nothing.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
