He wants to remain "just friends" but I want more...how do I deal with these feelings?

A female age 36-40, *oelouise2121 writes:

There's this guy, who I met through going to Mind for help with confidence (he is 10 years older than me, and we tried getting close once a few months ago, at his flat, but because of his problems. The next day he told me he could only be a friend, and thats the way it has to stay. Then when we met up again, in the pub for a chat, we stayed in there for ages, talking about our problems, ect. Then before we left, I went very quiet around him, and he said in his car "do you want to talk about it" and we did, and he said, whats wrong, I said "you've done nothing wrong, thats the problem" and I confessed that I have feelings for him, and he said that he's very sorry and that he cant give me what i want. He said to make it easier for me, what we could do was just see each other in Mind, and have a laugh there. I didnt want that, as he dont come to Mind often, so he didnt want that either, he was just thinking of me. So I said I'd be okay with it, and I was for the past few weeks, we've been meeting in the pub, having a laugh and a chat, and he even got me a birthday present, which I was'nt expecting. Today I found it a bit difficult, in Mind. This woman who came in, she does'nt come into Mind that often, every six months. She was telling him her problems, and he held her hand, only to reassure her ect - but a friend could tell I got upset by it, by my facial expression. So I dont know what to do, should I cut off contact with him, and give myself some space and distance between us, if I'm finding it too hard like today, as it's the only solution is'nt it, I'm scared of loosing the close friendship that we have though, if I have to text him and tell him that I need some space.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011):

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