A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my problem is my boyfriends ex.i have been with him nearly a yr he has a 3yr old daughter with is his ex. and has his little girl twice a week the problem i got is im never allowed to go with him to take her home i have asked him loads of times why i carnt go and all i get is i dont want to rub it in that i have a new girlfreind. his ex even goes to my blokes mums house and they go shopping together which i find a bit weird. this is makin me ill he wants to marry me next yr but i just dont no what to do please help.
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female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (5 December 2008):
 This is obviously very difficult for you but the likelihood is that your boyfriend's ex is not very happy about them splitting up and he choses not to let her see him with you incase she makes things difficult about him seeing the child. The closeness to his mother also suggests that from her point of view she didn't want them to split. I would tread very carefully here and not mention getting involved with his daughter for a while. If you get any inkling that he may still hold feelings for his ex or that his mother is working on him for them to get back together I would postpone the wedding for a while. Men can be very susceptible to a mother's charms. Really though the only reason he is keeping you away from his daughter is to keep the mother sweet so i wouldn't unduly worry. Think about it the other way round and think if you were the ex would you want to see the father of your little girl turning up with another woman to drop your child off. Probably not and it may well be silly but human nature being what it is it is best to let him drop her off on his own.
A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (5 December 2008):
 My friends ex used to turn up with his new girlfriend when he came to pick the girls up to take them off. She told me that she hated it and really did feel like he was rubbing it in her face. Their situation may be different from yours as her ex ran off with someone while my friend was pregnant so she was still very upset about that. I personally don't think it's a good idea at the moment. These things can take time. You may feel more confident once you are married. You will bump into his ex quite a lot if a child is involved so it's best for all if you can accept this. Don't forget, his mum is the childs grandmother so it is not in her best interests to fall out with the mother as it all has an impact on the child. At the end of the day it's all about how mature every one is acting over this situation. Its all small steps but i'm sure it will be okay as long as you keep a level head on it all. hope this helps.
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