A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Cupid Aunt,I (45) have been in a steady relationship with a wonderful guy, about 9 years older than me, for about two years. We are compatible in every way possible. He has even asked me to marry me and we have made future plans. However, he frequently chats to woman on the Internet. He never meets them. How should I handle this? Should I worry?
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female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (8 November 2009):
 What do they chat about? And how do you know they chat? Does he volunteer this information to you and how detailed? Internet is a way to keep in touch with the world. Do you fear he is having cyber sex or an affair via Internet? Some try this just out of curiousity. For the elderly the Internet can be more of a leisure pursuit though, not necessarily a dating tool, some will join forums where they can meet people of similar interests for debate, support, etc. If he has much free time on his hands, this can explain the hobby. If you suspect this is more than a hobby, I see why you are worried. Again, if it has happened that when you visit him he ignores you to chat with these ladies, or if you suspect or even wonder if he will do that when you are living together, I see why you don't hurry to marry him. Take more time perhaps or move in for a while to get to know him better and not feel threatened by (the nature of) his online activities and feel surer this is not tumbling towards trouble... before you take the big step.
A
female
reader, Melys +, writes (8 November 2009):
 Hi there,
Ok, all good, sounds like you're onto a good thing with this guy....
But, you say he chats to women on the internet, what kind of chat.....you really need to find that out....is it just a friendly chat? or sexual or what? if it's sexual, then you have every right tell him that you don't approve...if it's just friends, then great...
It sounds as though he really loves you...which is
something to be very grateful for!
Good luck! x
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