A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I've had some ups and downs with my relationship and whatnot. Next week it will be two years being in this relationship. We've been living together for the past year or so and I've been in high school I know really young age to be living with your boyfriend except that it wasn't really my choice to be here. I came to live with my sister and we sorta had family problems together and we are living in a different state than the rest of my family and my mom and dad are living down in california. Anyway I don't want to get into my life story but just a little glimpse so that you know my living arrangments and why i am here. Anyway today my boyfriend and I got into a fight and he kept yelling at me and told me that as soon as i leave during the fall to go to school that we are going to break up and to make the best of it now, the thing is that the school that i will soon be attending is a community college and only a half hour away at most of driving. Anyway we've sorta talked about this before, his mom doesn't want him moving far from home because she doesn't think that he's responsable enough to even live far away from her because of schooling and whatnot. Well to get on with this is that today i asked him if he meant what he said and he said that we both know that when the time comes that we will finally be living away from eachother that we won't feel obligated to be with the other. Never once have I felt obligated to be with him just because we are living with each other but he alway tells me that the only reason why he is still dating me is because we live together and share the same room and that if i had any other place to go or the rest of my family lived here and i lived with them that we would already be broken up. What is up with this? I try and give him his own space and let him hang with the guys but it's not even that, even though we live together it's not like we are always seeing eachother yes we see eachother in the morning and the night but it's not like we are always together there are those days that we spend with just us and say together all day but most of the time we aren't always together. I really don't know what to do because I love him so much and i want to be with him for a long time and he's telling me that we are not going to be dating after the summer. How is one person suppose to take this after being with someone for two years? and living with them for one? I'm just really confused and i don't want to lose him after i move out. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, emilia_shayner +, writes (4 July 2010):
If he doesnt want to be with you. then don't be with him... Too often women put themselves into situations where they become emotionally and physically dependent on a man and then they lose sights of themselves. YOU are more important than him and if he just sees u as baggage and not as a prize then he isnt deserving of ur attention in the first place. I understand how emotionally attached you are but after a while it will pass. Find a new guy that will WANT and DESIRE you. He obviously is taking you for granted and once you show him that you feel better off without him then two things can happen. He can either fight for it (what you want and will respark the relationship) or he will let it go (thus meaning he wasnt worth it in the first place.)
Being young is a good things (im only 16) and with these kinds of relationships they show us what we really want and show us the things we dont.
A
male
reader, GabeP +, writes (4 July 2010):
I cannot think of a kind way to answer your last question, so I'm going to say it bluntly: I think you've already lost him. It seems like the relationship got too grown up for your age and you ended up living with a guy who wanted a homecoming date. I understand that it might be very easy to be sensible on the internet and say that you should never, ever end up in that situation. But the guy is clearly not ready for a real relationship. If he were, then he wouldn't tell you that you're together for the summer but not after that. It's like telling your lab partner that you'll finish a project, but never work with them again. Makes sense in biology, not so much in a relationship.Try dating him on a reduced scale once you live elsewhere. Maybe taking a few steps back will be healthy for you. Maybe a couple years and a couple miles apart might be just the thing to get you both into a more mature, stable situation. But it's not going to happen as long as he tells you things like this.
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